Save this sinner

So this is what death was all about? Standing in front of a white-clad radiant being, I was wondering what would come next.

"You shall now be judged and sent to Heaven or Hell based on how you fare on the Seven deadly sins"

"Here! Hey! Wait a minute. I am Hindu and I do not think I am covered under these statutes"

The being morphed into a dark god bearing a mace sitting on an immense buffalo.

"Let us get on with the judgment"

"So, no Seven deadly sins, right?"

"Wrong! Now for the first sin - Wrath!"

"No way! I am a placid sort of chap. Ask anyone"

"Oh! So what was that diatribe about some comment on..."

"Say! Listen Buster! What is this? That nincompoop had the gall to criticize my writing. Which red-blooded.."

"Wrath!" said the being with finality and I spluttered to a silence.

"Next - Gluttony. Remember the time you sneaked the sweet dish from your neighbor?"

" Come on dude! I was hungry."

"After 10 tandoori rotis and half a kilo of biryani?" said the being in disbelief.

"What can I say? I have a good appetite", I said modestly.

"Gluttony!" 

"Next! Sloth"

"Hey come on! Can't a chap even get his forty winks without you getting on his case?"

"Who was it who slept twenty-six straight hours and regretted waking up because his hunger would not let him sleep longer?"

"Oh! Alright! You would think that a chap who does nothing is doing no damage but what do I know? That's a sin too!"

"Next - Greed!"

"Here! Hey! I never was greedy. Never went grubbing for money, never.."

"Who was it that fought to get hold of a book, which he never did read, rather than cede it to his friend who desperately wanted to read it?'

"Uh! Chief! What's this? I mean Greed - for this? Not fair"

"Greed!" he said with finality.

"Pride!"

"Everyone knows I am an humble chap. Just ask.."

"Who went about waxing eloquent about the idiocy of someone else's criticism of his writing?"

"Hey! Man! You already covered it under wrath"

"That shows Pride too!"

"Envy!"

"Ah! Now I suppose you will say that I have been green-eyed whenever I saw someone getting more readers than me"

"Bingo" said the being with relish.

"Lust!"

"Hang on a minute! You cannot mean that. You really mean even Lust is a sin?"

"Yes! What do you have to say?"

"Next Sin please"

"You plead guilty?"

"If guilty is what you choose to call it. Just get on with it"

"We are through with the Seven deadly sins. You are guilty of all and are sentenced to Hell. However..."

I looked up in hope.

"There is an unfortunate hitch. We designed Heaven and Hell assuming that a certain proportion would land in Heaven. You people almost invariably deserve only Hell so there is a lack of accommodation there. Till such time as the renovations are carried out and additional imps recruited, you shall be temporarily lodged in Heaven."

Great! If they planned renovations like roads are planned in India, they will never get ahead of the inflow. I could be permanently in Heaven!

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words 1st - 7th September 2013