Panchatantra with a twist: The Bird and the Monkeys

When winter came to the mountain, the gang of monkeys were unable to bear the cold. They collected the wild red berries, thinking they were embers, and blew air at them to make a fire that would warm them. A bird, Suchimukha, told them that they were foolishly blowing air at berries and should, instead, look for shelter in a cave. The monkeys rudely asked him not to interfere in their affairs. The bird persisted in trying to get them to take his advice. Incensed, the monkeys bashed him against a rock and killed him.

* * *

You see, there are instances where the lack of a management experience really shows. Most people tend to see this story as a warning against giving unsolicited advice but, to me, it shines through as a story that tells you that, sometimes, management experience can, literally, be a life-saver.

Let us see how this would have panned out if Suchimukha had management experience. To be sure, if he really had management experience, he would never give out advice gratis. In the current circumstances, of his being the outsider, he would necessarily have to be a management consultant being paid a hefty fee for his advice and with the mandate to deliver this gang of monkeys alive and kicking at the end of winter. (Why would anyone WANT an alive and kicking gang of monkeys, you ask? Check with any management consultant and you will find that they have been heftily paid to deliver more useless things than a live gang of monkeys)

"What are you guys doing, may I ask?" Suchimukha asked.

"What is it to you? That is none of your business." snapped the elderly head of the gang of monkeys.

"You are a bunch of wise people. This winter is really killing and I need to survive it somehow. I just thought that, maybe, you could give me a few tips on surviving it."

"You stupid fool! Just pick a few of those embers, there and blow on it. You will have a fire to keep yourself warm."

"Embers? What.."

"Are you blind? These red things, here. Don't touch them. You get your own from over there."

Suchimukha looks and sees wild red berries. A mocking look almost rises to his face but he curbs it. He was not a management consultant for nothing. If the client calls a berry an ember, it HAD to be an ember throughout the interaction. Polonius had nothing on him when it came to agreeing with clients.

"Yes! I see. What a great idea. Thank you."

"That's alright. Now go get them for yourself." said the monkey grudgingly.

"You are very wise. This idea with embers is really fantastic. May I share something which may make this even better? I have traveled to various places and have seen how humans handle embers."

"So, what is it?"

Behind the grudging growl, Suchimukha heard keen interest. THAT was always a good hook. Tell the client that it is your idea and he would look you up and down, and tell you to stuff it where it was anatomically painful, if not impossible, to do so. Tell the client that you have some inside knowledge of how people, whom he respects, work and it was bound to evoke interest.

"Well! They use these embers inside houses or caves. Possibly the wind does not allow the embers to flame up outside. Inside, they seem to, at least, make you warm even if they do not create a fire."

"I think, maybe, we should try it in that cave yonder." said the head monkey to the rest.

Suchimukha flew away, laughing to himself at the sight of the monkeys industriously blowing on the berries inside the cave. The only way to get people to do what YOU want them to do is to make them think that they are doing what THEY want to do.

Mission accomplished!

Panchatantra with a twist : The Turtle and the swans

It was a drought year and the water in the pond was disappearing. Two swans, Sankat and Vikat, were worried about their friend - the turtle, Kambugriva - who lived in the pond. The turtle suggested that the two of them could hold opposite ends of a stick, while he held on to the middle of it with his mouth, and ferry him to safety. The swans agreed and the plan was carried out. When they were flying, people saw the sight and commended the cleverness of the birds. The turtle opened his mouth to respond to them, fell to the ground and was killed by the people.

* * *

So, you thought that it was all about keeping your mouth shut, when speech is dangerous? That's because you do not know the real story.

"Look, bro! There is a turtle in that drying pond. If we capture that, my cook can make a delightful dish of it."

"Listen! The turtle is saying something to those swans."

"Get a stick and you two hold opposite ends of it. I will hold on to the middle with my mouth and you can carry me to safety."

"Hey Bro! Let us rush in before the swans carry the turtle away."

By the time the duo reach the pond, the birds had started flying.

"Let's follow them in the jeep, bro! I have an idea."

"What?"

"Remember Ravi? That idea for the ad campaign for the new deodorant?"

"Yeah! He screwed himself up royally, didn't he? The boss was telling HIS boss how he always knew that Soumya was a great talent, and she had proved herself with the idea for the campaign when Ravi pipes up and says that it was HIS idea."

"It WAS his idea. BUT the idiot should have known that telling it then would screw him up with the boss. YET, he could not keep quiet."

"Yeah, but why are you telling this now?"

"Some people cannot keep quiet when someone else is given the credit for their ideas. Even if it kills them."

"So...? Ah! I get what you mean."

The two of them yelled loudly, "Ah! How clever of the birds to have thought up this idea to save the turtle."

The turtle could not bear to see the birds praised for what was, after all, HIS idea. Even if they were helping him. He opened his mouth to say that it was HIS genius; fell to the earth and ended up becoming turtle stew by the night.

Yes, getting due credit can be real hazardous!

Panchatantra with a twist - The Blue Jackal

A jackal, Chandaraka, driven to seek food in a town by hunger is chased by a group of mongrels and hides in a vat of blue dye and ends up getting dyed blue. Later, when he returns to the jungle, he finds all the animals - including the large predators like lions, tigers, panthers and wolves - fleeing from him in fear, since they had never encountered a blue jackal. Seizing the opportunity, he claims to be a special creation of God sent down to rule them. He is duly accepted as King and appoints various animals to various posts. He banishes all the jackals from the jungle. One day, a distant pack of jackals start howling and Chandaraka joins the howling. Recognizing that he was but a jackal and not a special creation of God, the other animals pounce on him and tear him to pieces.

* * *

Actually, you know what, there is an inside story to this tale. Or did you really think that a jackal, no matter how blue it was dyed, could think on the spot and make use of its color to become the King of the Jungle? This is how it really happened.

Chandaraka poked his head out of the vat and peered around fearfully. The mongrels were gone. Before they could come back, he jumped out of the vat and raced out of town. The jungle lay invitingly in front of him but...

"Hey! You look kind of different. What are you?"

Chandaraka turned in a flash to see a human clad in what they called a three-piece suit. Considering that it was forty degrees celsius in the shade, there was only one species of human who would walk around in such hot apparel - and it was most certainly not hunters. And that thing hanging in front - tie, humans called it. They must be ashamed of having lost their tails and were trying to do it artificially, but why hang it in front, instead of back and lower where it belonged, Chandaraka had never understood.

Feeling less fearful than he had felt with the mongrels, Chandaraka turned to the human who he was sure was some sort of management chap.

"I am just a jackal. I jumped into a vat of dye and now I am this color. The mongrels chased me out of town and, now, I am sure that I will be torn to pieces by the animals of the jungle. You know how it is - we beasts do not tolerate anything different. Can you suggest a way to remove this dye?"

"Are you mad? Here you have a Unique Selling proposition (USP) and you want to get rid of it?"

"I don't have any Un..Uni...whatever. I only have this useless dye on me."

"THAT shows you have no sense of marketing. It does not matter if it is useless. All we have to do is to use it to create Brand Equity for yourself."

"Bra..Brand what?"

"Look! What is the issue, here? You are blue and look like no animal ever seen in the Jungle, right?"

"Y..yes!" said Chandaraka doubtfully, not knowing where this was leading.

"Well...instead of thinking of it as a flaw, think of it as a unique attribute."

"AND I will be uniquely dead", said Chandaraka, showing a dash of humor.

"Stop being pessimistic. All you have to do is to make it SEEM special. How would it be if...hmmm...ah! You can just claim that God made you specially this way and sent you down."

"Uh! Sent me down for what?"

"For the salvation of beast-kind, maybe? No...no...that sort of thing sells only with humans. Sometimes I think that THAT is the sixth sense we guys keep talking about...say, why not to rule the jungle?"

"Uh! You will just get me slaughtered by the lion"

"Hush! You are too pessimistic. You just do not know the advantage of adding the word SPECIAL to anything that is unique to a product...huh...person...uh...beast. We marketing guys have made people believe that someone who wears the right clothes is fit to run a company, so why cannot a jackal dyed blue rule the jungle?"

"And sold yourself, too, on the idea, going by how you dress" thought Chandaraka. "No wonder the human race is going to pot, if they are really being run by clothes dummies"

Aloud he said, "What if the beasts do not think like humans?"

"What have you got to lose? You will only get slaughtered, then. But that is what will happen if you try nothing."

THAT was convincing logic. Chandaraka started trotting to the jungle, when the management chap gave some parting advice.

"Don't ever let on that you are only a jackal. Nothing kills the magic of the USP faster than it being considered ordinary."

AND you know the success of the marketing strategy. Alas, that Chandaraka failed to remember the parting advice and destroyed his USP by displaying his ordinariness.

Panchatantra with a twist : The bug and the flea

A bed-bug, named Mandavisarpini, had made a home in the bed of a king. One day it saw a flea, named Agnimukha, coming in and tried to shoo it out. The flea told the bug that, as a good host, it should allow it to stay and taste the richness of royal blood. The bug told the flea that it should not be impatient, and should wait till the king was asleep before sucking his blood. When the king came in to sleep, though, the impatient flea started feeding immediately. Stung by the bite, the king called in his servants to fumigate the room. The flea escaped the room but the poor bug was killed.

* * *

The colony of bed-bugs was heated up by the behavior of this small group of fleas that had joined them in the King's bedroom. The Head-Bug was facing a situation which causes most heads to wonder why they ever thought that being a head was an attractive proposition.

"You need to do something about it, Chief! These fleas do not wait for the King to sleep and they also are very greedy. They keep sucking so much blood that the King will probably feel anemic tomorrow morning."

"Why don't you tell them to go slow?"

This attempt at shifting the responsibility (OR delegation, as the Head-Bug chose to think of it) did not work.

"I tried. They just say that we, bugs, can take it slow and easy since we live here. They are here only for a time and do not know how long they will have the opportunity. So, they have to make the most of it."

Another bug spoke up. "Well! These fleas have just joined the party and they are making merry. We have been here all along and we could not get as much juice from the king. Shame on us. Maybe it is time we learned from them."

The Head-Bug was feeling dizzy.

"I think it is time that you stopped the fleas from doing so much havoc."

"But...that is against our Athithi dharma. I cannot get in the way of our guests' wishes."

"Even if they endanger all of us?"

"What nonsense! I think we should abandon our conservative ways and adopt the ways of the fleas. Look at how well-fed they are after just one hour and we, who have been here for ages, are still looking under-nourished. It is time for bolder steps."

"No..." said the Head-Bug weakly. "We should not take more than our due."

"Nonsense! Who fixed up what is our due, anyway? What we deserve is what we decide we deserve."

"I don't know...I will not take more than my due."

"That's your call, Chief! We will take what we want."

"It is dangerous...what if the King realizes what is happening and takes steps..."

"You are a coward, Chief! When has the King ever bothered about these things. He is too lazy to take action."

"Yes..but...that is because we have not stung him deeply enough to disturb his sleep. What if..."

"If we keep thinking of 'What if' nothing can be done. We do not intend letting the fleas get away with all the blood."

"Do what you will... I will not join you"

"Thanks! Then there will be more for the rest of us."

The fleas, meanwhile, were making merry on their part of the King's body. The bugs joined in all over the rest of the King's anatomy. Even the ones, who were afraid of repercussions, now found it useless to stay away. They gave a mental shrug, said 'might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb', and joined the feeding frenzy.

Even the lazy King was stung, literally, into action after a long, sleepless night. He called in his servants and ordered them to fumigate the room. The fleas, meanwhile, had departed to their own abode. The bugs were all but destroyed.

Whether the King will always need to be stung into action by heedless feeding or will remain constantly vigilant remains to be seen.

After all, bugs will be bugs.

P.S : If you read this as an allegory, it is at your own risk :)

Panchatantra with a twist - Netted Pigeons

Now, there was this flock of pigeons whose head was friends with a mouse. One day, the pigeons found a lot of grains scattered in a field and descended to peck at them, only to find themselves trapped in a net. The head of the flock suggested that all of the them should unitedly fly with the net. If they could reach the mouse, he could gnaw the ropes of the net through and release them. Otherwise, they would be killed by the hunter.

Being merely bird-brains - literally - the flock carried out the plan and were freed of the net by the mouse. Not being gifted with the sophisticated brains of human beings, they had no real idea of the big picture and the entire conversation of the rest of the flock could be reduced to "Yes, Boss". Not particularly an intellectually stimulating conversation, right? If only they had been over-burdened with brains, they could have seen the situation from all angles and been much enlightened.

So, let us like Albert Einstein suggested, do a thought experiment and see what the gift of human intelligence would have done to enrich the conversation.

Head Pigeon: We are caught in a Net. If we can all fly off with this together, we can get our friend the mouse to gnaw through it and release us. Otherwise, we will be killed by the hunter.

Pigeon 1 (sitting on a hoard of grains): That is a panic reaction. We have ample time to finish all these grains before the hunter comes.

Pigeon 2: I did not expect this of you, Chief. You want us all to fly away so that you can have all these grains to yourself, later.

Pigeon 3: Who knows if we can really fly with the net all the way to the mouse. Even if we do, the mouse may not want to help us. Even if he does, it may not be possible for him to cut through the net.

Pigeon 4: This must be some conspiracy. The mouse must be involved in this somehow and will charge a hefty fee to cut through the net.

Pigeon 5: Even if it is really a hunter's net if we plead with him, he will let us go. Why take recourse to any hazardous ventures?

Pigeon 6 (whispers to pigeon 7): How many can the hunter eat? We are in the center, anyway. After he eats those ones at the edges, he may let us go.

Pigeon 8: There is no net. This is merely the way the land is, here. It is an unwarranted conclusion from our temporary inability to move to postulate the existence of a net. Even if there is a net, there is no evidence that there is also a hunter. This is either irresponsible scare-mongering or an attempt to push us to closer friendship with the mice.

Pigeon 9: You people landed where the grains are thick and have eaten well. I and my family have had little to eat. We will help you but you will have to do most of the work, since we are too weak.

Head Pigeon: Either all of us work equally at flying away with the net or none of us will.

See - the entire flock of pigeons has been educated on all possible facets of the problem thanks to human intelligence.

So what if they all ended up getting digested finally?

P.S: Seeing any similarities with international discussions on Global Warming and other such issues are at your own risk.