Influential people

I have always been fascinated by the things that people do not do because they are worried about "What people will say". Anything that I do not understand fascinates me and, given that I do not understand most things in life, I live an endlessly fascinated life.

Take, for example, a daughter wanting to delay marriage in order to pursue her studies. "What will people say? That we are irresponsible parents not trying to find a groom for you?" Why is it that what the daughter IS saying is less important than what people MIGHT say? I never could understand that.

Ah! Do not get me wrong. I do have a modicum of brains, even if you find it difficult to believe. If your son proposes to parade down the street buck-naked in the middle of the day or your daughter wants her music at some zillion decibels in the middle of the night, I can quite get your point. It is this funny idea that people have a right to say things about what happens within your personal lives that I cannot quite understand.

But, then, it is understandable in the context of the rest of human behavior - in the sense that it is as 'rational' as the rest of human behavior. We always do things that any rational being - assuming there is one such - would find incomprehensible.

This mythical rational being would assume that if you liked one person and disliked the other, the former would have more influence on the major choices of your life and not the latter. Right? WRONG.

Let us assume that your office has offered you a posting in your spouse's hometown as a CEO of a start-up. You have a comfortable niche right where you are and you do not want to move. (I say nothing of your reluctance to move close to your in-laws - so do not get after me for what I did not say) Your spouse, though, loves the idea. Do you agree to move because you love your spouse? Not that I have seen in real life.

After that huge argument at home and an adamant decision to turn down the offer, you reach office. Your colleague tells you that your rival had been telling all over the place that you did not dare take up the posting. So, what do you do? Say the hell with what he thinks and I will do what I want to do? Not at all. Pack your bags the same evening is what you are likely to do.

See what I mean? The spouse you love only makes you adamant about staying back but the rival you hate can make you change your decision. Thus, the most influential people in your life are the people you dislike and not the people you like.

Which is why I try to like everyone who crosses my path. I HATE having to change my way of life!