Words and Meanings

I must have a few wires crossed in my brain (What do you mean – this is the first time you are hearing about my having a brain? I cannot be responsible for your ignorance). These crossed wires seem to mess up the meanings of quite a few words for me. They are especially active when it comes to the new age words.

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There is this term ‘Go-getter’ used with great respect and awe. For some unknown reason, this term always evokes the image of a sniffing, pointy-nosed dog – retrievers, they call them I think – in my mind. You know that sort, don’t you? “Jimmy, Go get that ball” and off goes Jimmy racing after the ball, comes back with it triumphantly and sits on its haunches happily wagging its tail till you feed it that dog-biscuit or bone. Now, maybe, the wires are not all that crossed. I mean, from what I understand, a “Go-getter” is the chap to whom you say things like “Jimmy! Go get that sales order” and off he goes, gets it successfully and comes back slavering for his raise or promotion. At that, the dog has the better deal – he is surer of getting instant rewards in the form of bones or dog-biscuits.

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When it comes to ‘Team-player’, however, you really cannot blame me. I mean, how am I to get the meaning if all of you will use it mainly in the negative sense. You say “He is not a team-player” more often and you say it when you mean “He does not spend the evening downing beer with the boys” to “He is rude enough to point out when the team is making a mistake” to “He does not laugh at our jokes”. Now, if I am to work out the meaning of ‘Team-player’ from that, am I to understand that a Team-player “gets passing-out drunk with the boys” or “makes all the mistakes we make and a couple more for originality” or “laughs so much at my every utterance that he makes me feel like Jim Carrey’?

To me, a “Team-player” is the chap who would rather hide his scintillating genius behind the team and not be singled out for the firing squad. An effective “Team Leader” is the chap who can let the team take the credit for any cock-ups while manfully shouldering the blame for a good job done.

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I know that a heterosexual gets turned on by the members of the opposite sex and a homosexual gets turned on by members of the same sex. I even know of transsexuals who get turned on by the dress of the opposite sex. But, for the life of me, I cannot figure out what a ‘metro-sexual’ is? Gets turned on by the metro? Exits a metro train after an hour’s ride looking all dreamy-eyed, flushed and languorous? Is the increasing number of metro-sexuals the reason why there is such a clamor for a metro in every city?

If I am to go by ads – the only source of ‘authentic’ information I have – a metro-sexual man is someone who makes up for what he cannot do with girls by getting turned on by bikes, cars or clothing. If in the mood for S&M, he goes over and gets his chest and legs waxed. A metro-sexual woman has it even easier – she just gets turned on by male deodorants.

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The problem with all these words is that their meanings are experiential. So, if your experience varies from mine that does not invalidate my definition. There are lots of other such words – most of which escape me now – and, as soon as I can lasso a few, I shall be back with samples from the rest of my dictionary.

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