Thursday, May 23, 2013

The Metamorphosis of the Indian Hero

Change is always traumatic. And we live in a world that is changing every moment. Though all of us suffer through the stress of change I think the bulk of the trauma is being inflicted on the poor Indian heroes – especially the South Indian version. And, perhaps, trauma is inflicted on us by them in turn! 

Was it merely three-fourths of a century back that the Indian hero had to merely loll back in a diwan and watch the heroine dance? At best, he had to sit in front of a harmonium looking soulfully at the distance (NOT to avoid the distress of having to look at the heroine, I assure you) and sing. Later, it became even easier since he had to sit at a piano and bang at the keys – and sitting on a stool is much easier on your knees than squatting on the ground, particularly as you start aging. Later still the poor chap had to put in the effort of striking grand poses or doing PT exercise while the heroine did all the graceful portions of the dancing. Who could have imagined that the hero would need to match steps with the heroine or even over-match her so soon? 

Comes to singing, however, one needs to admit that things have become easier. The heroes originally had to sing themselves and tunefully too. Later they necessarily had to lip-synch most of the song since the directors and cameramen had this unnatural liking for close-ups of the face. Once the camera shifted to the pelvis and the six-pack the need to lip-synch has also been eliminated – so the hero can conveniently ignore the entire song for the most part. (A blessing in disguise for the audience as well since if our heroes also started singing, the one last piece of genuine entertainment in the movies would be effectively destroyed) 

The romantic hero, probably, has more reason to be happy – well, depending on the body odor of the heroine, I suppose. In the bygone days, he could only look on the heroine and moon about her from a distance. Later, it became permissible to actually touch the heroine but an inconvenient pair of flowers always got in the way and kissed when he should have been kissing the heroine. That changed too and he was even permitted even to get in bed with the heroine – but only to save the poor girl from dying of hypothermia. Now, of course, if he does not get in bed with the heroine he cannot be a romantic hero. 

All these are but trifles compared to the metamorphosis of the action hero. Gone are the days when the most action that a hero indulged in was to yell for the police in times of danger. First, he had to get bashed up by the villain; on the verge of unconsciousness recollect all the harm the villain had done him and bash up the villain in berserker rage. Later still the fight was more even with both hero and villain exchanging blows with the hero triumphant at the end. Then, it started seeming too less heroic for the hero to suffer even one blow when he was merely facing one opponent and, thus, it took a gang to even land a blow on him. 

What is an action hero if he cannot even fight off a gang unscathed? If the story, unfortunately, demanded that the hero had to be vanquished it had to be by someone attacking him unawares from behind. But is it not ridiculous to think that the hero could at all be caught unawares? So, now the rampant South Indian hero can face up to a multitude and knock them all over without his body being touched by the proverbial finger-nail. 

That may be all right for the ordinary heroes. The super-hero is made of sterner stuff. How can he do something so commonplace as to merely knock out a multitude of gangsters like any other ordinary mortal? If, unfortunately, he has only a gang to deal with, he either decides to fight them off without using his hands or without allowing them to lay a finger on the heroine whom he considerately places between them and him. If the gangsters had the commonsense to bring their guns along, he shows his prowess in dodging bullets while simultaneously shooting with unerring aim and hitting targets at a distance where ordinary mortals would require a sniper’s rifle to even attempt. 

One can imagine the disdain with which the South-Indian superhero looks on the childish Bollywood attempts to create a hero, who can dodge bullets and overtake speeding trains, by using antediluvian Hollywood concepts like extra-terrestrial origin. With the cutting edge idea of a natural born superhero in their backyard if they need to seek abroad for outdated ideas, it must be only because of a colonial hangover. 

Incidentally, I think that the shedding of clothing by the heroine is also because of this superhero nature of her man. With all the powers he has, she probably assumes he has X-ray vision as well thus rendering clothing ineffective as concealment. With her obsession for the hero, she takes no cognizance of the other ordinary mortals around her and discards clothing as worse than useless. 

A piece of advice for any aspiring hero – if in the earliest of movies you have allowed one single opponent to land a blow on you just forget becoming an action hero. If you have been fighting a gang and one of them even touches you, you have lost your chance of becoming a superhero. We just cannot tolerate a hero who can get injured like any other ordinary mortal, no matter how early in his career. 

Alas! There are still some people in India who do not have the patriotism to recognize the heights of power than can be achieved by Indians. Such traitorous mortals do not belong in India – at least in Indian movie halls.

38 comments:

  1. haha, the post made me think of rajesh khanna (for his songs), mithun chakraborty's break dance and ajay devgan's fight sequences. Sadly, the Indian heroine hasn't put on more character, although she has shed a lot of clothes... there are still very few movies that require them at more than face value.

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    1. Bollywood still has not risen to the heights of Rajnikant who can shrug off a zillion people with a mere twist of his shoulders :)

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  2. Rajnikanth , no one but Rajni ... and of course the robotic Shah Rukh Khan in that immensely forgettable movie. I don't think Salman Dabangg or otherwise, comes close even to this

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    1. Rajnikant was but the beginning - and the most super of superheroes still :) There are a lots of others now who ape the maestro in Tamil movies at least :)

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  3. The X ray vision theory explains a lot. No wonder the current lot finds clothing ineffective.

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  4. absolutely, we are not going to tolerate such unpatriotic people in indian movie halls. amazing observations. looks like you watch movies like a critic. loved this post!

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    1. I just watch movies on TV, Debs :) Problem with that is the ad breaks give you too much time to think - hence this effusion :)

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  5. Been a while since I saw South Indian movies. But from what I hear South Indian movies are still better than the north Indian ones.

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    1. Absolutely! The heroes are ...well...more heroic :)

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  6. Where do you get the ideas from Suresh!!

    As always enjoyed reading it !! :)

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  7. heheh Loved your post. It gave me a good laugh. Indeed poor hero. And wah nice thinking about the reason behind heroines dropping her clothes :). Bechare heroes also have to drop clothes and be ready with bulging muscles for when the shirts just fly off. Tch Tch

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  8. Ah!You never fail to entertain.Come to think of it-this makes you a HERO!!!!

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    1. Ya Khuda! Now I will have to shrug off thugs by the gazillion :)

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  9. And not to mention those fancy hairstyles and ability to drive fast without knocking the only kid playing on a wide road ;)

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    1. Quite Farida! And the waxed chests and the washboard abs - the poor things need to spend almost all day caring for their bodies :)

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  10. I typed in a really long comment and Google goofed up and it was lost :( Wish Rajnikanth were here and he would bring it back with a swish of his hand. Well, despite his antics that defy every law of Physics, I adore that man :) And talk about those who try imitating his action sequences and throw punch dialogues in a quest for achieving stardom! Phew! They get on my nerves :) But I really dont mind masala movies compared to the so-called closer-to-reality-reel full of violence and sorrow! :)

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    1. I enjoy them too - in fact I enjoy only those :) Does not stop me from poking fun at them, however :)

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  11. haha Suresh its the xrays part that gets to me... the satire was lovely and of course the narration damn catchy enjoyed it thoroughly :D :D

    Richa

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    1. Thanks Richa! I write mainly about the heroes and it looks like the stray reference about the heroine was more attractive :)

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    2. here here Suresh I heard ya and so now is the time to notice the hero!

      You won yourself an award :) Congratulations on winning a Liebster award for your blog! :)

      You can pick it up here:
      http://subzeroricha.blogspot.in/2013/05/my-first-leibster-award-d-d.html

      Happy blogging :)
      Richa

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    3. Thanks Richa for considering me worth the award. My apologies for not putting up the post - having been awarded the Liebster already this year and having put up a post for that it would be embarrassing for me to do it again in the same year (I have had to decline to put up posts for two others who have been kind enough to award me the Liebster already this year)

      That is not to say that I do not deeply appreciate the honor you have done me in nominating me for the award.

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  12. Hah! In the second part of this series, you must talk about the evolution of our heroes as they progress through their careers. You know, romantic when they are in their 20s, action heroes in their 40s, reality TV hosts in their 60s and so on!

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    1. Now THAT is masochism - asking for a second part :)

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  13. Interesting stuff! Heros are Mass and Boss , they hit dozen of villians in one blow and thats what cinema today is . I always love old cinema .I am taking about the 70's and 80's (incl.black and white). Most of them are family oriented and thats what today cinema lacks in. But serials do :p :)

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    1. Not for long, Uma! Serials are also being invaded by all the action of cinema I hear :)

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  14. Suresh, any day your posts never fail to bring many smiles...:) Thank you for that! And our heroes keep singing and dancing and fighting even when their sons become heroes too :) And about clothing, I was LOL...

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    1. Good to hear that - nice to know I do give some pleasure.

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  15. That was hilarious! Indeed, I want to go watch a Bollywood masala right now! But alas, that might have to wait as I haven't yet found a multiplex which plays Hindi movies. Thank God, there are no SRK movies releasing at the moment!

    How are you? Hope the Delhi plan is working out. Have a great time but make sure you miss me a little. :)

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    1. Plans still on - am currently in Chennai practicing for the heat of Delhi :) Will surely miss you - after all, you set the ball rolling and Rickie has given even more reason to miss you citing your cooking abilities :)

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  16. Thankfully we have Naseeruddin Shah, Pankaj Kapur, Amir Khan and a notable few who have defied all conventions!

    But the rest of them continue to focus on their six packs, jumping Jack skills and Jackie Chan stunts to hold on to their stardom.

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    1. Naseer, Pankaj and Amir will never be known as super-heroes, alas! :)

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  17. One thing hasn't changes for the Indian hero or superhero — the ability to withstand pounding and come out bloodied and victorious :-)

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    1. That 'bloodied' part has changed to 'unsullied' :)

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  18. And I read this and with every paragraph my mind brings up an image of Ajay Devgan or Amitabh Bachhan as we go! No one must have done this thorough an analysis as you have done on Bollywood and metamorphosis of heroes, heroines - what next? :)

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