Thursday, February 20, 2014

All for me

I always believed that the sun rose and set for my sake. I have been told that such is not the case but I fail to see the logic of it. I mean, if it were not for my sake, why would the sun bother to rise at all? Seems obvious that, were it not for me, the sun would just roll over and go back to sleep.

As with the sun, so also with everything in the world. I know that the obvious things are those which seem most difficult for you people to understand and require the most convincing on my part. Let me present some incontrovertible evidence of the essential part my presence plays in motivating people and nature to act the way they do.

Right from my days at school this phenomenon has been keenly observed and noticed by me. We had a Games teacher (PT master, if you will) who was generally lackadaisical about what we wore. When, then, do you think he went around checking for the polish on the shoes? Correct! On the one day when I failed to polish my shoes. The teacher who normally does not bother to check whether the homework was done chooses, of course, the one day when I had not done it. This it-always-happens-to-me syndrome is proof positive of the fact that people deliberately did things in order to make maximum trouble for me. (Seems like "All against me" rather than "All for me", does it not? BUT you cannot gainsay the fact that I was the root cause of their actions)

Take Nature, for example. In 2012 December, I had my right hand in a plaster-cast and was in Chennai for the Music season. Which then is the year when it decides to rain every day in Chennai? Correct - 2012! AND, it not only rains every day but also rains exactly when I venture out of the house and am far enough away not to be able to return. Obviously, someone up there was waiting with his hands poised over the tap and opened it just as I was stuck with getting drenched and ruining my plaster-cast OR take an auto - and experience with Chennai autos will tell you that it was a toss-up as to which was the worse fate.

I really can go on and on. The one time I make a road trip to a place is the time - after decades of neglect - that the State decides to dig it up in a bid to make it over. If I go on a trek, there is  deluge; if I visit a forest reserve, it turns too cold for the animals to venture out; if I apply for a job, there is an economic downturn and if I try to sleep, there is a power-cut.

Sometimes, I really wish that both Nature and people would stop obsessing about me and do their own thing - but, then, if wishes were horses, we would all get saddle-sores. At least I would, since the one horse I ride would have a protruding spine and a tendency to buck.

Such, indeed, are the perils of being the center of the universe. How I bear it, I really do not know. Maybe, it is just the universe, that I am the center of, that is so perverse.

AND people have the gall to say it is all mere coincidence.

28 comments:

  1. It is all the play of a gentleman by name Murphy.

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  2. Lol and I thought it happened only to me :-)

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  3. Sucks to be the center of the Universe right? :P

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    1. At least the universe that I am the center of does :P

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  4. Oh no they are all wrong Suresh! The sun does rise for you just like the moon serenades the stars for me ;)

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  5. I could almost picture you twirling your fingers pointed at the sun, singing like MGR, "Ulagam piranthathu enakkaga"! Hehe... and I couldn't stop laughing :D

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    1. Hahaha! Now WHY did I not think of that song? :)

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  6. Ha ha ha! And I thought it was I who had to suffer all the attention in the World.

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  7. Replies
    1. Yup! I hv a slightly different viewpoint though - abt the egocentric way in which we consider the happenings around us :)

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  8. Lucky boy! How I wish I was the hot favorite of nature:)

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  9. LOL ! Its the Murphy's Law. And as you have rightly mentioned - One should never believe in coincidences :)

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  10. Hehehe Murphy loves you doesn't he? :) btw I had just lands in chennai when the Tsunami stuck and then I had just landed in Gangtok when the earthquake hit.. Urmm I wonder what that means... :D

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    1. It means that, now that you are in Bangalore, I need to be afraid :P

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  11. That WAS funny :) We are all center of our own universe but now I know that the Universe (with a capital U) exists thanks of you :)

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    1. Of course it does :) Everyone and everything does anything with the exclusive intention of affecting me :P

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  12. Everyone is conspiring against poor you!! Hilarious as usual!

    PS - You must surely take part in the Condition Serious Hai contest on Indiblogger!! It's like, made for you contest :)

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  13. Long Time, DS! I am OFF contests - had enough of sponsors thinking that I am hungry for their prizes.

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  14. 'if wishes were horses, we would all get saddle-sores.' And I need not say any more.

    And, Suresh, I liked the way you proved your theory, complete with case studies. Kudos to you!

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    1. Thanks Uma! Loved the fact that you picked that line :)

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