Thursday, May 22, 2014

Winning

Did I ever tell you the only time I ever voluntarily entered a foot-race - as opposed to the times at school when you were coerced into doing all sorts of unwanted activities? I have? That's all right, you will survive hearing it once again.

This unnatural activity happened during my brief stint at SPIC, when I was masquerading as a chemical engineer trainee. When they announced that all trainees who participated in any event on their sports day would get the day off, it was a no-brainer that I would participate. It was equally as much a no-brainer for me to put in ONLY for the 100 meter race, as being the most cost-effective way of getting that holiday. Who wanted to exert himself any more than the minimum required?

Considering that my normal means of locomotion resembles a duck's waddle and also considering that it was NOT a race with ducks, it was but to be expected that I trailed the entire lot of runners home in the very first heat. Unfazed by the derisive laughs of the spectators, I loudly proclaimed, "I was the man behind the victors." THAT, of course, was the closest I ever got to winning.

I have always found that winning is very much over-rated. People tend to think that winning will make them happy, little realizing all that their winning does is to place them on the treadmill where they will need to keep running just to stay in the same place. Imagine the school kid who stands first in his class. Do you think he can then relax and take life easy? If he does and drops down one place, there will always be a sympathetic friend who will come and say,"You must have been sick on the day of the exam. Obviously, you are more intelligent than that guy." There will be a derisive chap who will comment,"I knew it was a fluke that he came first last time. Must be some error in the correction." His parents, of course, would jump on him with "Just because you came first once does not mean that you can slack off" forgetting that the second place he got this time was probably far better than his performances before he was unlucky enough to come first. After all this, our innocent friend will not only have to study all the harder but will need to keep an anxious eye out behind him to see if anyone was close to over-taking him. Such are the fruits of winning.

Staying short of  'winning' keeps you comfortably off the limelight. If you skid and take a purler, no-one is looking your way to laugh at your antics. If you move up a step, of course, there is hardly anyone to notice, except maybe someone close to you who will raise a disbelieving eyebrow. You can expect to be chugging along happily without anyone egging you on ('Come on, Suresh! Come on') or eagerly expecting to be there when you fail.

There, then, in a nutshell is my attitude to winning. I expect to enjoy myself doing whatever I am doing and I find that nothing drains away the joy faster than when someone tags you a winner and, then, the world sits around waiting to see you lose. A winner has to keep running all the time at full speed to remain one; an also-ran only has to participate to retain his tag as an also-ran - unless he has the misfortune to win!

Sour grapes, you say? Well, these grapes ARE sour! So there!

46 comments:

  1. Your pithy observations of 'most cost-effective way of getting that holiday' make a interesting prelude to a commentary on present day concept of winning. A good way to start the day :).

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    1. Got what I was saying, Sriram - I am gratified! When 'winning' starts becoming victory over someone, it gets very strenuous :)

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  2. One more topic we have discussed so often. I am a bundle of contradictions. I have attitude similar to yours but once I am into something things change. I would have probably been disappointed at losing even the stupid walking race.

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    1. Ah! When I cannot turn away those jeers with a laugh, it gets on my nerves too :) Though it happens very rarely.

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  3. It took me a while to realize this.. actually it applies to another feeling as well. that of being indispensable. Oh how good I used to feel calling myself that when I was working.. I finally realized that 'indispensable' only meant being taken for granted and that behind your backs everyone probably has a jolly good laugh at your cost :P So you should sit back, just do as much as you need and not let the indispensable tag get to you :P

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    1. Took me a long while too :) Both the 'winning' and the 'indispensability' :)

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    2. Yep!! Got that right... I was late in realizing that too. :)

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    3. So very true, most of our professional lives, we try getting to that position of being 'indispensible' only to realize that we have been played all along :)

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    4. We allow ourselves to be played :)

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  4. Never thought that there are so many advantages of not coming first :D..your observations are just awesome..enjoyed the read thoroughly..

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    1. Being in the limelight is not always fun :)

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  5. I always felt that winning is all about that extra burden which society and friends dumped on the winner's shoulder paying little heed that the poor thing could have been suffering from spondylitis :-( Moreover , so few friends and so many enemies out there ! ..no normal eyes looking at you but green eyes of envy ..I hate it as a whole..

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    1. Winnng is fine but getting labeled a winner can be a real pain :)

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  6. For some reason I do not agree but how does it matter :D
    See your said winning is like walking on a treadmil reaching nowhere...but you do gain fitness. :P
    My point is winning does provide you a little better feeling than that of losing.
    But again it doesnt mean that you make winning your life motto..

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    1. Since you got serious, let me answer you seriously. Winning as I used here and took potshots at is a concept of comparing - you consider it a win when you do better than someone else. If THAT is your idea of winning and if you think that it makes you feel better, let us just agree to disagree.

      On the other hand, if you are talking of the feeling of winning that comes from doing the best you can, I agree with you and am NOT lampooning that. But, then if that is what you were doing, it is pretty clear that you will not be looking over your shoulder or be bothered about odious comparisons by other people, isn't it? :)

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  7. That pretty much sums up my life philosophy..though never winning any competition plays a large part in me reaching to that conclusion so early in life...:P might as well enjoy as loosing i say..;) *Hi Five* for this one !

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    1. Hi Five right back! In my case, I actually never ever compared myself with anyone - some congenital defect, I suppose :) The one time I got labeled a 'winner' was the worst. - my office - and that period taught me everything about the perils of getting that label :)

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  8. I kind of like sour grapes! :-) Hate limelight though. Enjoy your post.

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  9. he he he this reminded me of 4 weeks ago, we had a get together at a school and the local police officers were called , then came the races and ofcourse we had to participate .. I fell so hard in the sack race .. bruside my elboews and all.. I am too fat it seems

    and Winning you are right we give too much importance .. we fail that in a race of 8 athletes .. only one person wins the rest 7 lose.. so in theory the percentage of losers is much more ..

    we need to learn the art of losing .. as the winner can never know what it is to win.. because he has won.. its the loser who knows what it would have been :)

    Bikram

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    1. That's a cool insight, Bikram! That only one who lost truly appreciates a win :)

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  10. Hehehe....well, you do have a valid point! Once on that treadmill, how does one even get off! I always used to stand 4th in class in school. Imagine the pressure of holding on to that position every year! If only I had found your blog then and realised the futility of it all!
    Great piece, Suresh!

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    1. Wish I had found my blog in my time too :)

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  11. Ah, the joys of anonymity! I have a great nephew who is truly a sport. It would come as a surprise to many parents including his own that he treats both victory and loss alike. If he loses in a board game or a race, he happily proclaims that so-and-so came first and that he was second last! No rancour, no sadness. But perfectly equanimous. Don't I envy the six year old!

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    1. I was pretty much like that - except that I had to face my father with the results later :) Winning, to me, has always meant achieving MY goals rather than overshooting someone else's performance.

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  12. coincidentally, i learnt this lesson through a race too!! that was the only time i ever ran a race and i was in college, i was very reluctant at first but a really handsome guy in class (for whom I had the "glad eyes") persuaded me to run...just to impress him i agreed....but never having "run" i ended up falling flat on my face(literally) after having run a few yards....! race bhi gaya aur ladka bhi! :)

    lesson learnt !! after that i have never raced anyone ever....happy with my own slow and sweet pace!

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    1. Yes, Titli! Too often we judge winning by the standards other people set than by the standards we set for ourselves.

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  13. This post reminds me of something a big-time American professor I knew once used to say - why do you Indian students in the US go crazy after A grades in all courses? Go for a comfortable B and learn how to balance studies, life, work. Good advice, I followed then and continue now :) A good read, Suresh!

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    1. For me, Beloo, this whole thing about grades IS stupid. I mean, there is a joy in learning and understanding the world and, if we set our goals as doing just that, we may even end up getting those 'A's. Life cannot be lived like a perpetual competitive race where all the others are rivals - it can only be lived properly when we set standards for what we want to be and become and achieve them (To set those standards on a comparative basis - "I want to become richer than Bill Gates" - would be a vitiation of what I am saying. :) I mean 'become' as in 'becoming an expert at astronomy'; 'becoming a compassionate human being' and things like that). THAT, alone, is true winning and that is the only way you will find the process of living enjoyable.

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  14. Toh jo jeeta woh hai bandar aur jo haara woh bana sikandar???

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    1. Hahaha! Sikandar na sahi, bandar bannese bach jaata hai :)

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  15. Learnt that the hard way, tried to run the race looking for first and ended up not first :) then tried being what I felt was the best I can be, and it felt much more satisfying.

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    1. Even if you HAD come first, it would not be happy times - as long as you keep considering winning to be something in comparison with others.

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  16. In the name of winning there is too much pressure everywhere these days Suresh. Both for the winners and the ones following. Phew !

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    1. I thought I had it bad, Jaish! NOW I feel it was MUCH better for me than it is for the current gen :)

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  17. Very well said and I completely agree. However, you would make an unconventional parent. :)

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    1. Safely evaded the possibility by not becoming a parent at all :)

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  18. I agree with your views, Sureshji.
    Winning comes with its quota of hatred & awe! Tough to handle both properly- balancing act to juggle sanity!

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  19. A fantastic post Suresh ! "People tend to think that winning will make them happy, little realizing all that their winning does is to place them on the treadmill where they will need to keep running just to stay in the same place." - this sentence hit the nail right on the head. Winning for that matter , the material 'success' in today's world comes at a cost and somewhere during that race to win, we forget to live and enjoy.

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    1. The whole problem is the way we define winning, Ash! It is all about being better than someone else rather than getting to where you want to go.

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