Monday, March 30, 2015

Have Opinion, Will Speak

You know what? There are really surprising people in this world. People who really think that, even if you have an opinion, it is not always necessary to spout it. I mean, really, how stupid can you get? What is the purpose of having an opinion if you cannot tell it to the world? And what is THEIR opinion about why people bothered to create Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, Instagram and what-have-you, if they did not want all people to start spouting their opinions? It is astounding that such people know enough to keep breathing.

True, there are some people in the world who ought to be prohibited from having opinions. Even if they are permitted opinions, they ought to be prohibited from expressing them. (Freedom of speech? You think that applies to the other guy as well? What rot!) THAT, of course, cannot apply to me. I am such a scintillating thinker, with absolutely original ideas and opinions, and a clear understanding of any subject. Naturally, I could not be so selfish as to deny the world the fruits of my genius.

Anyway, what am I doing wasting time thinking about fools, sitting in front of Facebook? After all, did the poet not say, "The world abounds in fools. Search for one and you will find a thousand. Even if you are not searching, they thrust themselves into your notice. (Duniya mein bewakoofon ki kami nahin hai Ghalib; Ek doondo hazaar milte hain;....mat doondo phir bhi milte hain). Time to attend to more important business.

"Women prohibited from staying late in office and working on holidays"

There is a link attached but just who has the time to go through all that? Anyway, it is obvious that this employer is an anti-woman dinosaur. I click on the comment bar and write

"As long as these sexists exist, this country is never going to develop. It is exactly this sort of attitude that leads to suppression of women and, in extreme cases, crimes like rape."

There, now! That should teach the world how to treat women. I scroll down, scattering likes to my friends - especially the status message that said that Virat Kohli would have smashed a double century, if only Anushka Sharma had not gone to Australia (Yeah! Correct! To people who have been liking my own status messages. So?). Another message catches my eye.

"Managers prohibited from keeping women late at office and calling them to work on holidays. Is this not discriminatory?"

My God! Where does this idiot live? Does he not know how unsafe any city in this country is for women?

"What nonsense? How could you even consider risking women staying late, when their safety is threatened in every city. Is this an off-day for you or do you always live in cloud-cuckoo land?"

I put up this measured and polite response and move on. Ah! There is the photograph of my friend. Makes me happy to see that there are a few who have bulged more at every seam than I have. I comment, "Wow! Do not look one bit different from our school-days. You could slip into the school uniform and walk into school as a student", while thinking that there was no school uniform ever made that could hold ALL that mass inside without splitting from the strain. Then, I see I have received a new message from one of my FB friends (as opposed to friends, who have seen me in person and still choose to keep in touch).

"Hey! Do you realize that both those statuses relate to the same thing? You oppose it in one and support it in another"

"Nonsense! The first is about a sexist organization discriminating against women employees. The second is about a sexist fellow complaining about an organization that cares for its women employees."

"Dude! The organization, and the action by it, is the same. It has just been described differently."

How dare this idiot question my perspicacious opinions? There is no point in continuing this discussion. I use the polite form of 'Piss Off': I put in a smiley, close the message box and continue with FB.

"XXX calls for ban on sensitive film made about the infamous rape case."

This is the sort of thing that keeps India in the dark ages. They will want to brush under the carpet everything that shows the warts in Society. If a mirror is not shown to Society, how will it ever improve?

"When will we ever be free of this 'Khap Panchayat' mindset? It is time that we stopped hiding away from reality or Indian Society will never be safe for women"

There, now! THAT should tell Mr.XXX what I think of his antediluvian ideas. I scroll down and see another thought-provoking status.

"British documentary portrays all Indian men as rapists."

God! Will the British never get over their colonial mindset? They just cannot allow India to be seen as a modern country, soon to be a super-power.

"When will the West wake up and see that they cannot keep India permanently in the dark ages? We should not be allowing these documentaries to portray this erroneous picture of India."

THAT should tell them. No sooner than I had smiled in satisfaction than I see another incoming message from the same FB friend.

"You do it again! Both these statuses are about the same documentary."

My God! What sort of FB friends do I have? It is nice to know that someone follows you but is it really necessary for him to be following me, like Mary's little lamb, to ALL the statuses that I comment on? AND trolling my comments? Do I really need this guy for a friend?

I unfriend (Huh! Has it not become a regular word yet?) the guy immediately, but my simmering rage still needs an outlet. I click on my own status and type

"Some people are never happy unless they troll others. Thank God for the 'unfriend' option. #LeaveMeAlone"

I look at it. It does not seem enough. I add a #IrritatingNuts, #CyberStalkers and #DeathToTrolls and put it up. Within five minutes, I get some 34 likes and 20 comments agreeing with me (No! I have not yet reached the 'thousands of likes and hundreds of comments' levels, but I am working on it).

Another good day on Facebook!

P.S : This post owes its origins to a status update on FB made by a friend and a post by Beloo Mehra on thinking.

30 comments:

  1. Classic Suresh! Loved reading it. The whole post is hillarious (and full of serious substance too!) but the last bit about the 'unfriend' status and its accompanying hashtags is simply superb. And that number of likes and comments part...it just made me laugh out loud, because as one of the worst performers in such 'like-ability' contests I could relate to it so well! It is great to see that the cycle of 'thinking' is continuing through this post, thanks for linking to my post which in a way happened thanks to you :)

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  2. I was really confused initially and was wondering where this was heading but it turned out to be an amazing post with many LOL and ROFL moments (I am learning these terminologies). I quite like your FB friend who followed you everywhere :)

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  3. Funny post...maybe you cannot unfriend me because i'm not your friend but i have to tell you that i was kind of disappointed today,i thought it was very rude of you to unfriend your friend ...so sad i thought you were very sensible,but you not only unfriended the poorguy for asking some questions which were fueled by curiosity and anybody would because it looked like you were contradicting yourself,you even write about him on your blog,how will he feel if he reads this,have you thought about that,agreed you found him irritating,also though not fine but okay,you unfriended him but writing about him here,sort of humiliating him...very uncool...sorry Sir,i have an opinion too...and sometimes people don't write about their opinion on certain things because they don't want to spoil a friendship or rake up a storm over it,so it's really not nice that called these peace-loving people 'fools' ...i have to tell you before you get me wrong that i also believe in speaking up..there are a lot of people who read your posts and follow you and they have questions too,can you afford to 'unfriend' them? This post has made me look at you very differently....please feel free to delete my comment,i will not mind that.

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    1. You did not get the point then, Seema! THIS was not a real story of what happened to me. It was supposed to be a satirical post on how people can behave on Facebook. I do a lot of writing that way - writing as though I am the person, who acts in the manner that I intend to satirize.

      Thank you for being honest and I am happy that the point got across - that I made you angry with THAT sort of person.

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  4. Then maybe I'm really dumb because though i got the point i didn't really get tje satire...to me it still looks like you're talking about a real incident....maybe i should read again...and thank you for replying and not deleting my comment.Have a good evening.

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    1. Even if you still do not get the satire, I hope you at least have enough belief in my integrity to think that if I say it was intended as satire, that must be the way I intended it :)

      Otherwise, just think - could it have really happened that I get two versions of the same incidents, twice in one day AND I give contradictory opinions on both sets AND a friend gets to read BOTH sets of comments AND messages to me - all in the same session on Facebook? AND I, who purportedly does not recognize the contradictions in my own reactions, know enough to know exactly WHAT to highlight in the blog post that will make you feel angry with this sort of person?

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  5. And that was an apt post with your trademark stamped all over! there other strange trends that i see on FB. For instance, sending friends request to 'people you may know ' list just so their friend's list reaches impossible digits.

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    1. Yes - that too! And most of those friends are 'friends' only to make up the numbers. They will have nothing to do with you, as far as possible :)

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  6. Agree...oh gosh,am i really that stupid,i understood now,thanks for clearing this for me because i was a bit disheartened...anyways i think i'll give it a read to understand, ...so the point of this post was that everybody has an opinion even if they don't really understand stuff....and i was like the perfect example today,"have opinion will speak" ....gosh looks like you tricked me into this ...heehee....ahhh,the irony. :)

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    1. Glad it got cleared up. If you had actually gone to Beloo's post and read my comment there you would have readily seen that the first example comes from that comment - and exactly WHAT I said in that comment too :)

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    2. Yes,glad that it's clear now...i'm going to hide my face like an ostrich now ...heehee :)

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  7. Hahaha This post was amusing and really thought provoking. Indeed, the scenarios you mentioned are not uncommon at all.

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    1. I know, Rachna, and it pains me that people do not pause to think before they start calling someone names.

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  8. FB is full of scintillating thinkers Suresh.
    Can you believe it--one person informed through his status update about the sad demise of his parent and a 'friend' has the *****dity to 'like' it.

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    1. Don't I know it, Indu! :) Though not exactly at par, I put up a status once when my blog was suddenly showing 'deleted' and a couple of people not only 'liked' it but were offended when I pointed it out :)

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  9. thought provoking and also thanks for sharing Beloo's post...

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  10. Wow..man! What a writer you are!!
    ...and thinker too!

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  11. Thinking Opposites simultaneously is called Janusian thinking. so no need of complaining. In fact this is better thinking!!

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    1. I simultaneously think that this comment is brilliant and stupid :)

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  12. Actually, not many people are mature enough to write (or opine) good. Normally i excuse them but Saru (being more good in PR) thinks a lot before replying.

    Nice thoughts though.

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    1. Quite right about Saru! AND about most people being not too mature to have reasoned opinions.

      Thanks, Alok!

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  13. My opinion is you should be banned from writing.... for making people laugh so much that they split their sides and get stomach aches from laughing so much reading your posts!

    arre, you should have told the guy, 'my opinion offended you? you should hear the ones I keep to myself!'

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    1. I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of people share that opinion - that I should be banned from writing :) Though not for the same reasons :)

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  14. The little princess is right, you ought to be banned! Who will pay for the pain relievers? I am no Croesus, Suresh, so please have mercy?

    For half a second, I was afraid that I was the you unfriended, so went back to check and thank God, that wasn't so. Kidding apart--wonderfully written, and the best thing was you so accurately described what most Fb'ians do...

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