Monday, December 7, 2015

Flooded out

After a hectic meeting on deciding what the Nation ought to know and who were to be on the panel so that they could be shushed by the host, it was time for some relaxation. The Editor let his hair down, just to let people know he did have hair to let down (Unlike me? Yes. So?)

Eager-beaver 1: Sir, there is something amusing on social media. Everyone is talking of some Chennai which is supposedly getting rained on. They claim it is in India.

Editor: Social media! Don't get me started on it. Those people will believe anything. Just because it is raining somewhere in the world, we cannot be using up prime time on it.

Eager-beaver 2: Sir, everyone in media must be seeing that. What if someone telecasts it tomorrow and, by some strange coincidence, Chennai happens to be in India? We might just check it out.

Editor: Hmm! You guys might as well waste your time doing that as on something else.

EB1, EB2 and the hitherto silent EB3 rush out to waste their time. After some time is duly wasted...

EB1: Just as I told you, Sir! No other major channel seems to be carrying the news. Proof positive that Chennai cannot be in India.

EB3: Sir, no state ruled by either the BJP or the Congress has any place called Chennai in it. I am sure it cannot be in India.

Editor: Just as I thought...

EB2 comes in with a young chap.

EB2: Sir. This boy says Chennai is in India.

Boy (stutters, overwhelmed to be in the august presence) : Yes, Sir! You may have heard of Sir C.V. Raman, C. Rajagopalachari...

EB2 (in an aside): Idiot! You will never make a news-person. What is the use of mentioning ancient history in a news channel?

Boy (stuttering even more): Sundar Pichai...

EB2 (whispering fiercely): Idiot! Haven't you learned anything about what is news and what is not? Don't you know anything good is just not newsworthy enough? Surely there must be some lynching, some scam....

Boy (excitedly): Sir! The 2G scam...

Editor (brightly): NOW you are talking. You mean Chennai is there...that Raja came from there?

Boy: Yes, Sir!

Editor: Where is this boy from? Does he really know what he is talking about?

EB2: He is a Madrasi, Sir!

Boy (just a shade underwhelmed now): Yes Sir! THAT word, Madrasi, which you use so tolerantly...that is based on Madras, which was the original name of Chennai.

Editor: These South Indian people and their penchant for changing names. How is one supposed to remember that this...Chennai...is in India, if they keep changing names?

Boy (totally underwhelmed and, probably, having decided to take up something more useful like plumbing instead): Everyone out there seems to manage to keep track, as witness the Social Media. They find it no more difficult than remembering Mumbai for Bombay and Varanasi for Benaras, I suppose.

Editor: Enough of that, young man! I do not even allow guests on my talk-show to speak and you dare speak back to me?

EB2: Sir, forget the idiot. I suppose we shall need to cover this, then?

Editor: Yes...we cannot let the other guys steal a march on us.

EB1: By the fifth day we can claim that it is our coverage that made the government take action to help the population.

Editor: Good idea! Make a note to put that on my teleprompter. No need to wait till the fifth day. Weather is so unpredictable and we cannot take a chance on the rains stopping before we say that.

* * *

WHAT?? It did not happen this way? The news media knew all along that Chennai IS in India? Are you sure? Oh! You mean that the news of the devastation in Chennai, unlike the Uttaranchal disaster and all, just got flooded out by more important things like Aamir Khan's supposed imminent departure from India. How was I to know that? I always did lack a sense of priorities.

24 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha. A good jibe at those ignoramuses.

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  2. Excellent! These yelling people on TV (I am not sure we can call them journalists) really can't see anything beyond Delhi. Or cows or Bollywood.

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    1. Thanks Beloo! The media is an important part of a functioning democracy. When it fails in ITS own duties, one needs to fear for democracy. And THAT they are failing abysmally is apparent to all, these days.

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  3. Anguish, Suresh! That is the hallmark of good humour. If it can show anguish, anger and indignation through humour, it is of the highest order. *Respect*

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  4. Yes the news media deserves a good kick for being so regionally biased!Good one sir! Despite the Chennai rains playing second fiddle to trivial bollywood bickers, it managed to capture the limelight through the resilience and compassion shown by Chennaiites! Whistle podu!

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    1. Yes! Whistle podu for all those resilient and compassionate people. The media, though,....

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  5. LOL.That one's dripping sarcasm ! If it's not to do with controversy,then it's not worth telecasting it. And even worse, if you happen to live in the north east or down south.

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    1. I very rarely resort to sarcasm as you know, Ash! This time, though, I'm afraid I felt it was warranted.

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    2. Agree Suresh, it was very much warranted and it brought out the best of your trademark style!

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  6. Very well done! The less I say about news channels the better. Why do we have to put up with this? And how many more depths will they plumb?

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  7. Humour in disguise brought some light moments to this grim situation, but the disguise removed made it grimmer..

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    1. As grim, I hope, as the abysmal state of Indian media deserves, Amit!

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  8. Ah well written, sir, well written. When it's so absurd it might be true, you know you've touched a nerve.

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    1. Thanks Percy! These days fiction has to scramble to be absurd enough to meet fact :)

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  9. The media should exhibit a bit more responsibility. Enough of shouting like madmen over not-so-relevant issues and showing regionally biased news.

    Excellent write-up, as always... :-)

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  10. Ha ha superb. The other day, I was thinking why the "National News Channel" are so region based. It is because of the brands they get to advertise. The target audience they cater to dictate the importance of news.

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    1. I do not think that news of this sort related to the South will be ignored by the North. It is not the people of India who are so parochial, it is the media.

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  11. I suppose Delhi, Mumbai, Kashmir and now gujrat make up India.Now the media decides which news is to be doled out for maximum trp. Assam is ravaged by floods annually and yet there is no whisper. Chennai has seen floods it could never imagine in its collective memory.Every one is taken on a fun ride squabbling and shouting on the social media. Sad state of affairs.

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