Monday, April 25, 2016

Friendship (Ye Dosti)

(For US/UK customers - my book 'A dog eat dog-food world' available at more than 50% discount for a short period. Just so you know - the book is rated around 4.6 on Goodreads with 45+ ratings and 30 reviews)

I have always wanted to find the sort of friendship - you know the 'Sholay' style 'Ye Dosti' type of friendship in life. I know! I know! It is easy enough to find people to go riding on bikes with, whether or not they are willing to scream 'Ye Dosti' while doing so. AND, with the people I know, if they tried to actually sing 'Ye Dosti', that would probably be the end of the friendship. (What?? Now YOU know why I do not have friends? You are only jealous of my singing prowess.)

Where was I? Ah! Easy enough to find good time Charlies who would go riding bikes with you, get drunk with you and all that, yes! Especially if you have the money to pay the bar for the drinks and the destruction of furniture and fixtures, at the end of the party. The difficulty, though, is all the rest of that Jai-Vijay friendship in the movie.

To be sure, I CAN dispense with that particular talent in my prospective friend of boosting my character with the prospective in-laws. You know, 'He is a very good chap; it is just that he smokes; actually, he does not always smoke, except when he drinks; it is not that he drinks normally, except when he goes to a whorehouse; and he rarely goes to the whorehouse, except once every day and twice on Sundays' or some such attractive presentation of my Curriculum Vitae. If God had forgotten to put in THAT talent into a person, it would not disqualify him with me as a prospective friend. As it is, I find it difficult to get a girl to look at me, without her eyes straying over my shoulder, attracted by some visions in the distant horizon. With this sort of a boost, even the helpful guidance from 'Sholay' would be no help. If I were to stand atop a water tower, screaming 'Suicide', the girl would probably get busy sawing the supports of the tower, enthusiastically, in her eagerness to help me with my project.

What I truly want is that camaraderie that would even extend to willingly give up one's life in order to save a friend. To have a friend who can be relied upon like that...THAT would be really something. I said that, once, and everyone around me agreed. Quite a novel experience for me, this universal approbation of what I said, but...Eeeks! Did THAT mean that they were also looking for it in me? That, while I was looking to see if THEY would sacrifice their lives for me when necessary, they were actually expecting ME to be sacrificing MY life for them if need be? Ye Gods!

THAT is my besetting problem. Why could I not be like these guys - just thinking about how good my friends are as friends? Life would be happier that way. I always muck things up for myself, sooner or later, by wondering about whether I myself measured up. Story of my life.

Anyway...I sort of think that this giving up your life thing may well be possible for me. (NO! Not because I am sure that it will never be put to the test. True that I do not live a life where someone is shooting at my friends every other day, giving me the option to jump in front of him and take the bullet but still...) I mean those things happen in the heat of the moment and, blessed with a lack of imagination, I am still not fully convinced that I am mortal, so it is possible that I may get in the way of a bullet destined for a friend. Anyway, those decisions leave you little time to repent your decision and, even if they do, it generally is too late to have the repenting change the consequences.

It is all those other things, short of sacrificing my life, that are worrisome. What if I had to help him with his children's school fees, while struggling to meet my EMIs? What if I had to babysit his toddler for a couple of years as he and his wife struggled to meet THEIR EMIs? What if...Hell! There are too many damn 'What If's. With all those possibilities, it would be a positive pleasure to give up my life for him and saddle him with my EMIs!

Yes...and I could still be the sort of friend that the 'Sholay' guys were, so no problem. After all, in the movie, even Amitabh Bacchan balked at having Dharmendra's kids sent over to him to babysit, though he willingly gave his life at the end. So, even for the Jai-Vijay friendships, one dramatic gesture was easier than a daily grind of friendship!

(Topic suggested by Ramesh Grandhi. What I did with it is all my doing)


  1. A rollicking post, indeed! The wry manner in which you describe the immortal Jai/Vijay friendship had me chuckling throughout. I got the feeling you were throwing yourself into the Vijay mold--and then--what if you had to change Jai's child's diaper, bathe him, clean his drool, and the mucus pouring out of his lil nose? I can carry on...

    Enjoyed this post immensely, and am really struck with your ability to see humor in any and all situations. Thanks.

  2. These are egoistic times my friend.Most look up a person to gauge his value in terms of social stature and usefulness for their own ends.

  3. Had a good giggle reading your post. I'm waiting to finish my A to Z Challenge before getting your book.