Now! Now! Is that polite of you? I start off with 'Familiarity breeds contempt' and is it nice of you to say, "With some, the first sight counts as familiarity for this purpose" and direct meaningful glances at me? What did I ever do to you?
It is sort of true though of a lot of people. Like your film stars for example. You see them all aglitter on screen and on stage and you fall head over heels. Getting closer, though, could be a problem. I mean, after knowing that it takes three hours and a ton of chemicals to make that face look that lovely, it is a shade more difficult to swoon at it. All art is like that. When you see only the end result, you are taken by the beauty; when you see the effort, you start dissecting the artistry. (Not to mention the fact that it is rumored that the ONLY way you can see some people as they appear on screen IS on screen - till they find a way to photoshop the real person and not only the image.) So, yes, familiarity can take the glitter off a person.
Those, though, are not the only celebrities who are so affected. In the more mundane world of writing, there is still the problem. Hear of a school-friend who has a book out and what immediately springs in your mind? "Arre! THAT chap who had to keep holding his shorts up in order to keep them in place? You mean he expects people to actually spend money on his writing?" Exactly what the vertical position of his shorts in his childhood had to do with his linguistic and other abilities is something that everyone else seems to understand. So, there is the case - if you are familiar with a person, you hold his art in contempt, more often than not. Even if you are too kindly a person to hold anyone in contempt, a stranger's art is likely to get respect whereas a friend's art gets, at best, indulgence. Which is why an author probably should aim for respect for his writing from rank strangers and not friends.
You need not be a celebrity in order to be faced with this issue. After all, when they said in Hindi "Ghar ki murgi daal barabar" ('A gourmet meal at home gets no more respect than a burger' - Loose transliteration), they were not speaking only of celebrities. Ever had your advice sneered at when you gave it only to later on find that the same advice, given by an external consultant, is treated with all the respect that Moses accorded to the 'Ten Commandments'? THAT is your lesson on how familiarity breeds contempt.
Now that I have convinced myself that familiarity with people is counter-productive, I must start standing aloof. As a first step...
"Do I know you?"
It is sort of true though of a lot of people. Like your film stars for example. You see them all aglitter on screen and on stage and you fall head over heels. Getting closer, though, could be a problem. I mean, after knowing that it takes three hours and a ton of chemicals to make that face look that lovely, it is a shade more difficult to swoon at it. All art is like that. When you see only the end result, you are taken by the beauty; when you see the effort, you start dissecting the artistry. (Not to mention the fact that it is rumored that the ONLY way you can see some people as they appear on screen IS on screen - till they find a way to photoshop the real person and not only the image.) So, yes, familiarity can take the glitter off a person.
Those, though, are not the only celebrities who are so affected. In the more mundane world of writing, there is still the problem. Hear of a school-friend who has a book out and what immediately springs in your mind? "Arre! THAT chap who had to keep holding his shorts up in order to keep them in place? You mean he expects people to actually spend money on his writing?" Exactly what the vertical position of his shorts in his childhood had to do with his linguistic and other abilities is something that everyone else seems to understand. So, there is the case - if you are familiar with a person, you hold his art in contempt, more often than not. Even if you are too kindly a person to hold anyone in contempt, a stranger's art is likely to get respect whereas a friend's art gets, at best, indulgence. Which is why an author probably should aim for respect for his writing from rank strangers and not friends.
You need not be a celebrity in order to be faced with this issue. After all, when they said in Hindi "Ghar ki murgi daal barabar" ('A gourmet meal at home gets no more respect than a burger' - Loose transliteration), they were not speaking only of celebrities. Ever had your advice sneered at when you gave it only to later on find that the same advice, given by an external consultant, is treated with all the respect that Moses accorded to the 'Ten Commandments'? THAT is your lesson on how familiarity breeds contempt.
Now that I have convinced myself that familiarity with people is counter-productive, I must start standing aloof. As a first step...
"Do I know you?"
Shhh...don't tell anyone but I think there is another advantage of standing aloof. We can stay away from all the riff-raff of the 'aam aadmi' variety ;)
ReplyDeleteBeing the aamest of the aam aadmi lot, I don't know how that would help me, Beloo :)
DeleteIt is true that we do not get the best eulogies from those who are very near.Maybe they don't want to spoil us with excessive praise or they know our weak points only too well.
ReplyDeletePossible, Indu! The point is that knowing a person changes the way you approach their work - for the worse, more often than not :)
DeleteHi Suresh, looks like you are back from your trek. Is any experience during the trek a trigger for this.... any which way what you say is all true... and am experiencing it as well as people who you believe your are close to, if you be their mirror and shadow you get to see their true colour and behaviour how much ever magnanimous one may be... velluthadellam paal endure ninaipadbhu begavum that
ReplyDeleteTrue - people seem to discount the efforts of people they know :)
DeleteYou WILL find a reason to perpetuate your distance with us cattle, won't you!
ReplyDeleteThough I must admit, your reasoning makes complete sense!
Yeah, the stray dog has to keep away from cattle :)
DeleteSo true... Buddies & aspiring writers who used to meet in a tea shop when young and struggling could not accept/ stomache Kushwanth Singh's success later on.As you say"Arre! THAT chap who had to keep holding his shorts up in order to keep them in place? You mean he expects people to actually spend money on his writing?"
ReplyDeleteThanks Rajeev! C'est la vie
DeleteNow isn't that true of our entire country where we give scant regard to any accomplishments of our country men but swoon over others abroad.. Probably by the mere act of outside recognition for our own stalwarts, probably we suddenly become unsure of our familiarity :)
ReplyDeleteQuite - outside recognition makes the man half-firang :)
DeleteHmm, that's one of the reasons the Trumps of the world break through! Very sane observation!
ReplyDeleteWith Trump it seems more like 'Contempt breeds familiarity' :) His contempt for some classes of people make him familiar to others :)
DeleteA writer should ain for respect from rank strangers than ....hmmm never thought of it that way before ....something to ponder on...makes absolute sense
ReplyDeleteSometimes - altogether rarely - I end up making sense :)
DeleteWhich is why yesteryear film stars like Rekha used to keep a distance from fans and TV. Stay an enigma and feed them crumbs. They will come back for more.
ReplyDeleteAnd totally true with relatives.
True that about yesteryear stars
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