The Physics of Me

I am sure that this chap, Nityananda, must have been a Sciences student at school and, possibly, particularly tormented by Physics, if not his Physics teacher. (You don't know the guy - the Lord of the earthly Kailasha? What stone were you living under?) I mean, going by the way he hates getting into the Physics of anything, much preferring to get into the Chemistry. Even Time, where the mind really boggles wondering about what could be the chemistry of time!

I have a sneaking sympathy for him in this. Physics! Faugh! The subject where people take up weights, ropes and pulleys, make a rat's nest out of it all and then ask YOU why the whole damn thing is not falling down. When you look at them in dumb misery, wondering why YOU should be answering for the mess THEY created, they helpfully tell you to use the Momentum Balance or some such. With not a hint of where you can buy the damn thing or whether it comes with a helpful instruction manual.

You know, Physics is the nosy-parker of all subjects. Not at all like other self respecting subjects like the chemistry and biology, which Nityananda so likes. Chemistry sticks to the small - molecules and such - and doesn't go too far in that direction either. Biology, ditto. Sticks to manageable sizes and, now that the dinosaurs are extinct, those sizes are not too large and, as for the small, once they hit the DNA, RNA and gene, and some sundry chemicals, they said 'Enough' and rested content. But Physics?

On the one hand the ruddy thing goes first to stars and star systems, then galaxies, then the Universe and, now, not content with the Universe, which supposedly should mean EVERYTHING, they go on to something called the Multiverse! God knows what next. AND, as though that were not enough, they start worrying about what they cannot see. Dark Matter, Black Holes, what have you. I ask you, is there no end to being snoopy?

So, yeah, one sort of feels 'Ok! Bother all you want about things too big for me to worry about" and starts ignoring them. AND then they start off on the small. It was all fine when they hit the atom - supposedly meaning 'not divisible further'. AND proceed to divide it. Electrons, Protons, Neutrons...and dragged in Chemistry as an accomplice too.

Even Chemistry balked when they did not stop there. I mean, come on, dividing the proton, the electron and all? Quarks, I believe. Where will they stop? And they apparently have assigned flavors to the quarks to further subdivide them. (One is sorely tempted to shove in a handful of Ghost Peppers into their mouths and say, "THIS is flavor!") Just as you are patting yourself on the back that, even if your mind is reeling, you still have not fainted, they sock you with the proposition that something can be both a particle AND a wave, at the same time. I mean, come on, that's like saying that the same person can be Jennifer Lopez and the Hulk at the same time!

First they say that nothing can travel faster than light. THEN they talk of tachyons which cannot travel slower than light. As for relativity, I have no complaints, we knew it all along. Especially when it comes to Time. Which Indian does not know that "5 minutes" means different things depending on whether you say it to the boss, your friend or a stranger?

So, yeah, I am against this dratted Physics too. Even if that means that I have to figure out how to chemically analyse Time!