Ascribing motives

One of the most favorite pastimes of humanity is probably this one of ascribing motives to the actions of other people. Pastimes? Not really. In a way, it is a subconscious way of life, a methodology by which we understand the world around us. Invariably wrongly, yes!

Let the philosophers prate that what happens around you and to you is not what causes you to be happy or unhappy; that it is how you interpret it all in your mind that does. All that guff gets nowhere with any of us, does it? We'd rather try to change the world around us than to try to see the world differently. It is the former, after all, which is seen as industriousness; the latter is mere day dreaming.

Like, say, you walk into office and one of the guys around doesn't respond to your greeting. You could think, "He must not have heard me" - and there are those who would go a step further and ask, "So you have ear-plugs on?"; you could think,"He doesn't like me" and sulk all day about why people do not think you are likable; you could think,"Ah! So he thinks he is too big to respond to my greetings" and plot to bring him down some time in the future...and so on. And, for all you know, the chap may just be nursing a severe hang-over and is too tired to respond.

Well, old man, old idioms. I could, of course, have said you posted a pic on Facebook and one of your friends did not 'Like' it. And you may think, "Maybe he did not see it." (It does not do to carry it too far even with this innocuous motive. I mean, if you further think that maybe he did not see it because he is sick and call him up, you may lead to the other guy ascribing motives to you. Like "Ah! So, he thinks only a sick person would not 'Like' his pic" or some such.); or you may...well, you get the point.

Go forth to the arena of work and things can get murkier. Like, you make a proposal, someone points out what he thinks is a flaw. And you think,"Maybe he has a point" (I know, unlikely, right? But, apparently, such people can exist, in theory at least!). Or you think,"What has he got against me?". Or you think,"Trust him to try to pull me down in whatever way". Or you think,"Why does he dislike me? If he liked me, he would not be finding fault with my work." And so on.

And, of course, what you think affects your mood for the day; affects your relationship with that other person, at least, if not with all others in the vicinity. Eventually, ends up carving out your personality. And once your reactions set themselves in stone, you get recognized for THAT sort of person, whatever that may prove to be.

And, if you prove to be the sort of person I am, then...

"It ALWAYS rains just when I have to go out. What has God got against me?"