Why be bitter?

There are times when I surprise myself. Like, it is sort of usual if I hold the exact opposite idea of the world as compared to the wise. I mean, well, they ARE the wise, aren't they, and I am probably as far from wise as you can get while still counting as human. But then, there are those times when my ideas vibe with theirs. Possibly, like a clock that has totally stopped, I am allowed a couple of times when I can be right, every day.

As has happened in this case where I was surprised to see that Tiru has voiced the exact same thing that I have always felt.

Insol inidheendral kaanbaan evankolo vansol vazhanguvadhu - Tirukkural

Having enjoyed the joy of hearing sweet speech what sort of person would choose to use bitter words? - Loose Translation

Exactly! Having found how pleasing it is to hear sweet speech AND how hurtful harsh words are, why would anyone choose to use the latter over the former when he speaks himself? Tiru, for one, echoed my own ideas and thereby proved that he, too, could become naive in his idealism!

I mean, have you heard of ragging in colleges? Ever heard of anyone who actively enjoyed being ragged, especially when it verged on bullying? AND, then, how many of those who suffered the process refrained from ragging their juniors in their turn? Cannot hear you,,,yeah, a bit louder please...EXACTLY! None!

Did you, perchance, see a previous Kural post where we talked about how showing anger is easier with inferiors than your superiors? THAT is the point with this as well. You can be rude and hurtful only with people who cannot hurt you, not with those who can. Yeah, yeah, there ARE those who are all-round rude but those are the exceptions. The rule is that you are wary of being rude to those who can give back more than they got.

Which is WHY people are rude knowing full well that they are being hurtful. Because they CAN be and it gives them a sense of superiority, a sense of power. So, yes, they KNOW they can make the other person happy by speaking sweetly but see no reason why they should bother to do so. (Yup, that applies only when it is a persistent behavior and not one-off rudeness in a moment of stress. Though, be aware, that most of the time even a stress reaction comes based on your own idea of your relative power position vis-a-vis the person to whom you are rude.)

Of course, I AM assuming that Tiru is talking about where sweet words and harsh words can be objectively defined. I mean, if you have reason to criticize your subordinate and he is the sort who takes ANY criticism as rudeness...OR when you have to pass on bad news and are unable to come up with a positive spin to put on it...yes, there ARE times when the harshness in the words is more perceived than real.

Where it is real, though...AND, perhaps, Tiru IS pointing out at the type of person who could do be harsh by saying "What sort of person...?", instead of calling him names, thereby living up to his own dictum of not using outright harsh words!