Monday, August 26, 2013

P&M VIII - Nobody understands me

Of all the things a person says nothing is meant with every fiber of one's being as much as "Nobody understands me". As usual, there are times when this is nothing more than an ordinary phrase. For example, I was in Paris for a day and trying to take in the city all by myself. Unfortunately, speaking English was no help. Whether I spoke it confidently in a basso profundo or in nervous frustration in a high falsetto; whether I took an hour over uttering two syllables or ran through the entire sentence in a nano second, all I got was that famous Gallic shrug and a friendly smile. When I said, "Nobody understands me" on that day it was no more than a statement of fact, which nobody understood either.

The usage that I now seek to talk about is the "Nobody understands me" that is a cry from the heart of a person distressed by the sheer obduracy of the rest of humanity in refusing to fathom them. In my time, I have been so wounded to the depths of my soul by the inability of my fellow-man to understand me that I have had to utter this phrase in broken tones to the receptive ears of my pillow more often than I would like to think about.

Just as I am sitting in a bad mood because my close friend refused to come with me for a movie, someone will come and want a heart-to-heart chat about how depressed he is because his girl-friend ditched him for someone else. He will not even understand that I am snapping at him only because I am in no mood to talk at that time and will go around telling people that I am selfish and not a good friend. And, you know what, people believe HIM!!! Nobody understands me.

My blog post of last week does not get enough comments and I am very sad and depressed about it. You would think that I can go and talk to my close friend and be consoled by him, wouldn't you? Not that I can notice. I go over to him expecting to unburden myself and he brushes me off with a frivolous excuse that he needs to take his sick mother to hospital. What sort of friend is he that he cannot even understand how much I need his support at that time? Even my close friends do not understand me.

People call me bad-tempered just because I snap at them when I am not in the mood. They just do not seem to understand that I am such a sweet person if only they will come and talk to me at the right time. They do not understand how helpful I am as a person if only they will ask me for what I can willingly give them instead of selfishly asking me for what they want. Nobody understands me.

I wish that God had thought fit to tattoo on the foreheads of people what sort of people they were. I mean, if someone came with a tattoo on his forehead saying "Please understand me", I could know that he is less likely to be spending time understanding ME. If someone came with a tattoo saying, "I have enough trouble understanding myself and cannot spare the time to be understanding you" one could conveniently give her a wide berth. Then, maybe, there may come one with "I have got nothing better to do than understand you" and you could latch on to her - provided you can fight your way through the hordes of other people like you. Without those tattoos, it is difficult to understand people. God really messed up when He designed human beings.

What?? Did you say that when I cry "Nobody understands me" I only mean that "I understand nobody and have never made any attempt to do so"? Noooooooooo! How can you be so cruel? Even you do not understand me.

42 comments:

  1. I will not put myself in the 'cruel' category and venture saying 'I understand' this post, and the sentiment that brings it forth. But then, 'I understand you/what you are saying' is often as heart-felt as the robotic lady on the railway station microphone apologising for a delayed train and announcing 'The inconvenience caused is deeply regretted.' Now, do you want me to say 'I understand you?' :D

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    1. That sailed like, what, some universes above my head :) I was merely reliving my youth and the times when I was so wrapped in myself that I walked around furious that the world did not understand me TILL it struck me one fine day that, probably, everyone else was also doing the same :) It was an epiphany of sorts, believe me, to decide that it was probably best for me to try and understand people rather than wait around for them to come over and understand me :)

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  2. Today I have attained gyan. I know now why you are so popular. I understand why people flock to your blog in hordes. But you pull one over them so fast they never get it!

    They mistakenly think they come to laugh with you- at you. What they don't know is that you are pulling their leg all the time.

    I'm wised up to your tricks now my friend!

    Dagny

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    1. People flock to my blog in hordes? News to me considering the paucity of comments. Maybe they rush out with as much alacrity :)

      Psst! Must you let out all my secrets? :)

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  3. This was such a nice post. Extremely effective use of humor to get a very important point across. Nice writing...

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  4. It actually means more of ' nobody cares about me ' eh Suresh ? any person's stand in this understanding or being understood business can keep changing phases . So ur tattoo idea may not work rt ? :)

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    1. it is God, after all :) Why cannot the tattoos change as well to suit the mindset :)

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  5. "In my time, I have been so wounded to the depths of my soul by the inability of my fellow-man to understand me that I have had to utter this phrase in broken tones to the receptive ears of my pillow more often than I would like to think about." Hilarious ! Suresh, I am waiting for you to come out with a humourous fiction story written in your typical style !!

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  6. Nice read. Hope u start using this line less once ur readers read this post...:-)

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    1. I never use this line nowadays Shaivi - except as in the first para :)

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  7. I understand :) Nice post Suresh !

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  8. Suresh Ji .. I have stopped complaining and now I have admitted Nobody Understands me ;)
    So casually we convince ourselves on this phrase and remain stubborn throughtout life :)

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    1. Ah! I have transcended that to it does not matter if no-one understands me :)

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  9. Brilliant and humorous yet again...I do understand!! ;)

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    1. Thanks Aditi. I seem to have all the understanding readers :)

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  10. Nobody understands nobody... live with it. The question is do u understand urself??? I keep suprising/shocking myself all the time.

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  11. On the contrary, you tell your readers so much about yourself that they never feel the need to ask the pertinent questions because they think they already understand you! While in reality YOU understand your readers so well that you keep playing the same game with them, and yet nobody understands! :) :)

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    1. My life is an open book, Rajrupa - no pertinent questions to ask :) And, what would that game be? :P

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  12. It is a fact that so many of us feel this way--maybe we hide ourselves too well.

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    1. I knew you would get the point Indu! The point is that only someone who really does not take time to understand the other person's point of view and expects that others should understand their own point of view ends up crying "Nobody understands me" :)

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  13. Well, we have discussed this offline. Good to see it structured as a post.

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    1. It has always been 'in my thoughts; in my mouth' with me :)

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  14. Suresh, I am still to read you last week's post but I dare say I understand you! I loved the opening lines where you have described your vocal worthlessness on the streets of Paris. I wish you had tried Hurrr, Hurrr! They many not know what Indiblogger is under those skies but they'd have surely recognised the writer in you!

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    1. Wasn't a blogger in those days, Uma leave alone an Indiblogger. Else I am sure Paris would have reverberated to "Hurr! Hurr!" :)

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  15. I will take this as a very serious post, Suresh. Very insightful. However, when you talk about the tattoo on everyone's forehead, you will end up lamenting your wish. Remember you wish about 'being able to read minds' - in the world fell silent post? :)

    And yes, I so much relate myself with your comments' comment. Very relevant :)

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    1. Ah! Tattoos are OK when they restrict themselves to expressing the type of person/state of mind :)

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  16. I was fond of 'understanding' people until I realised that all they loved was standing all over me. So now I just stand where I am... and the strange thing is that a lot of people now want to stand where I stand. So I sometimes don't tell anyone where I stand. And this game of intrigue that I have invented keeps me busy and happy.

    Obviously, I loved the post.

    Arvind Passey
    www.passey.info

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    1. Thanks Arvind! So, now, no-one understands you because you want it that way? :)

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  17. When one loses all arguments, when one does not have anything else to offer, when one is completely lost; then the words 'Nobody Understands Me' come out!! A lovely post CS :)

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    1. One gets that completely lost only when one is wrapped up in oneself :)

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  18. That whole tattoo idea? Genius! But knowing you and me, we might just break that, too!

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    1. I would love to have that "Please understand me" tattoo - will keep everyone away from me :) And when I am meeting people I want to meet, I shall wear my "Ignore my tattoo" T-Shirt :)

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  19. "My blog post of last week does not get enough comments and I am very sad and depressed about it."
    Er I counted about 24 comments. It took me around 6 years to get that many on my blog and only because I included the spam posts too. In fact I have stopped getting spams messages ever since I removed comment moderation. Even the spammers have deserted me. I miss my spammers at least they were regular presence on my blog. Come back Pastor James Nwaezeigwe all is forgiven.......

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    1. Hahaha, Subroto! Well - twelve of them were my own so it is only 12 comments :)

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  20. Well, it does not matter whether I understood or not. It matters that you took efforts to make others understand what you wanted to convey. Right? :-)

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    1. If you could take that attitude, you will actually not have a problem at all of having to say "Nobody understands me" :)

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