I wish this phrase "Drop in any time" would only make up its mind about what it means. Most of us know that the dictionary is meant to be ignored and sort of pick up meanings by usage - but, heck, that can be done only for phrases that maintain some sort of constancy in usage. When a phrase is so indecisive about exactly what it means it really gets on my nerves.
An early experience had taught me that this phrase was a meaningless politeness similar to 'Nice meeting you' (which, when someone uses it with me meant, "The nicest thing about meeting you is parting from you and the solacing thought that I shall never meet you again"). It meant nothing more than the fact that the concerned people were not actively repelled by you - yet!
Those were the days that I used to take the printed word as gospel (being days in which newspapers could still be relied upon to give the facts) and the dictionary was my sole guide for meanings. So, when a couple I met said "Drop in any time" just as we parted, I thought I had found a new caring family in an unknown city. There I was hair in a braid - as Wodehouse would put it - sunnily smiling at them as I walked into their home on a Sunday. Within five seconds, I had learnt what 'being given the bum's rush' was all about. It meant that your hostess tells you in gushing words how sorry they were that they were having family coming in any time while your host has his arm around your shoulder and is nudging you towards the door inexorably. Before your bewildered mind can comprehend exactly what you are hearing you are not merely outside the door but outside the gate which your host is busy padlocking while your hostess utters a last apology and a sweet goodbye.
The subsequent days taught me the meaning of more phrases. For example, I knew that 'one taking the high road and the other the low road' meant that if you happen to meet the host of that day coming towards you on the pavement, you would see him instantly find some pressing business on the other side. Why, he will even risk crossing the road despite high speed traffic in order to attend to it. Someone cutting you dead means that if you run into your hostess in a party then, while you are bleating "Hello" in her ear she would dreamily hear a whisper of a thought from someone across the room and rush to answer it. Enough on that subject. In addition to teaching me the meaning of all sorts of phrases, it also taught me that "Drop in any time" does not mean what the dictionary says it means.
Ah, by the way, these were in the days when a telephone connection depended on your knowing someone related at least to the Telecom Minister's peon and when mobile telephony belonged in the realms of Science Fiction. People still used to just walk into someone's house saying, "I was just passing this way and thought I would meet you" even if their host's house was the lone one in the middle of nowhere and they had to trek 8 Kms to reach it. (Before you ask me, YES, I am THAT old.)
If only one could hold on to that meaning for "Drop in any time", all would be well. I mean you would just say "Sure" to that phrase and forget all about it. Unfortunately, the damn phrase switches meanings every now and then. I have had hostesses accost me in a wounded tone, "I invited you but you never do come". (I know, I know! It seems incredible that anyone could at all be THAT hungry for company that they would miss me but will you please wait before you call me a liar?) I have never managed to understand whether this meant that their "Drop in any time" was a genuine invitation or was it only a means of taking the moral high ground of having invited me without running the risk of actually having to host me.
With such an indecisive phrase, it is only right that I choose to assign the meaning to it myself. So, I have decided that I shall accept as an invitation only when someone says "Drop in at this time". "Drop in any time" shall, for me, mean that if I acted on the dictionary meaning those people would only mean, "Drop Dead" in future regardless of what they say.
How about you?
An early experience had taught me that this phrase was a meaningless politeness similar to 'Nice meeting you' (which, when someone uses it with me meant, "The nicest thing about meeting you is parting from you and the solacing thought that I shall never meet you again"). It meant nothing more than the fact that the concerned people were not actively repelled by you - yet!
Those were the days that I used to take the printed word as gospel (being days in which newspapers could still be relied upon to give the facts) and the dictionary was my sole guide for meanings. So, when a couple I met said "Drop in any time" just as we parted, I thought I had found a new caring family in an unknown city. There I was hair in a braid - as Wodehouse would put it - sunnily smiling at them as I walked into their home on a Sunday. Within five seconds, I had learnt what 'being given the bum's rush' was all about. It meant that your hostess tells you in gushing words how sorry they were that they were having family coming in any time while your host has his arm around your shoulder and is nudging you towards the door inexorably. Before your bewildered mind can comprehend exactly what you are hearing you are not merely outside the door but outside the gate which your host is busy padlocking while your hostess utters a last apology and a sweet goodbye.
The subsequent days taught me the meaning of more phrases. For example, I knew that 'one taking the high road and the other the low road' meant that if you happen to meet the host of that day coming towards you on the pavement, you would see him instantly find some pressing business on the other side. Why, he will even risk crossing the road despite high speed traffic in order to attend to it. Someone cutting you dead means that if you run into your hostess in a party then, while you are bleating "Hello" in her ear she would dreamily hear a whisper of a thought from someone across the room and rush to answer it. Enough on that subject. In addition to teaching me the meaning of all sorts of phrases, it also taught me that "Drop in any time" does not mean what the dictionary says it means.
Ah, by the way, these were in the days when a telephone connection depended on your knowing someone related at least to the Telecom Minister's peon and when mobile telephony belonged in the realms of Science Fiction. People still used to just walk into someone's house saying, "I was just passing this way and thought I would meet you" even if their host's house was the lone one in the middle of nowhere and they had to trek 8 Kms to reach it. (Before you ask me, YES, I am THAT old.)
If only one could hold on to that meaning for "Drop in any time", all would be well. I mean you would just say "Sure" to that phrase and forget all about it. Unfortunately, the damn phrase switches meanings every now and then. I have had hostesses accost me in a wounded tone, "I invited you but you never do come". (I know, I know! It seems incredible that anyone could at all be THAT hungry for company that they would miss me but will you please wait before you call me a liar?) I have never managed to understand whether this meant that their "Drop in any time" was a genuine invitation or was it only a means of taking the moral high ground of having invited me without running the risk of actually having to host me.
With such an indecisive phrase, it is only right that I choose to assign the meaning to it myself. So, I have decided that I shall accept as an invitation only when someone says "Drop in at this time". "Drop in any time" shall, for me, mean that if I acted on the dictionary meaning those people would only mean, "Drop Dead" in future regardless of what they say.
How about you?
"The nicest thing about meeting you is parting from you and the solacing thought that I shall never meet you again"
ReplyDeleteand
"Drop in any time" was a genuine invitation or was it only a means of taking the moral high ground of having invited me without running the risk of actually having to host me"
Seriously big brother, belly crunching laugh early morning.
Your phrases & meanings r making for great morning reads.
Thanks Anupam! Great to hear that!
DeleteHahahaha, somebody told me "Break a leg" just before I went into an exam hall, and it made me want to kill the person. It was later explained to me, it meant "Best of Luck." Goddamn Angrezi!
ReplyDeleteThat phrase was originated by Stage artistes. They did run the risk of breaking a leg while dancing on stage due to the unreliability of stages. This wish was probably on the lines of what you wish for will not happen - and, so, was used to wish the best of luck to an artist just about to go on stage.
DeleteI too find the oddities of greetings and social etiquette, quite, er, odd, and sometimes irritating. For instance, when someone asks me: "How do you do?", I'm tempted to describe in detail my favorite Kamasutra position, though of course I generally desist because of my essentially kind nature.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, that was a nice post (and this is not merely a formal pleasantry)
It was precisely this possibility that made me use "How are you?' instead of "How do you do?" in 'Phrases and Meanings - I' :)
DeleteThanks for coming by and that nice comment.
I never use that phrase because I dread people dropping in when I least want them to. I often tell "Please call and confirm whether I am at home before you come". ;) At least now we know how to invite you home LOL
ReplyDeleteAs do I. And in my case it is as much for the convenience of the prospective guest since he could possible find a locked house otherwise :)
DeleteAnd, why do you think I ended this piece that way? :)
:) Although its only in old hindi movies that I have heard -Yahan se Guzar raha tha to socha .. aap se milta chaloon :D these days an unwanted guest is treated more like a stranger .. aur they directly ask 'kaisa ana hua?'(what made you drop in at my place ? :D
ReplyDeletehehehe.. with the dwellings going smaller .. hearts are squeezing smaller too :)
Not the size of the dwellings but the extent of time we spend chasing money :)
DeleteAh the duplicity of people--it can hurt the gullible.
ReplyDeleteNot so much duplicity as the fact that we all use meaningless phrases that not all may understand to be meaningless politeness.
DeleteNice to see this becoming a regular series. This is very similar to what flexible timing means at work or auto driver or road side vendor asking us to pay how much ever we like - when somebody is trying to be vague, they always are trying to use the vagueness to gain advantage over the other person.
ReplyDeleteA few more in the kitty, yet! :)
DeleteYou hit it on the head TF.
Delete+1
Deletehaha Who in their right mind would invite someone to drop by unannouned? It is such a silly phrase. With immediate effect, it is mandatory to call before coming :).
ReplyDeleteWith immediate effect, it is required to give me a time when anyone invites :)
DeleteI know, I know. 'Aap to aate hi nahi..' kind of statements I have heard many times. The best way to be a good guest is to have remained disappeared for an unexpectedly long time.
ReplyDeleteIn my case, such absence is treated as a boon by the others :)
DeleteGood one!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteDuplicity is in our character.But,on serious note,there are phrases which actually are confusing.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to pick on such phrases. Thanks for visiting and taking the time to comment.
DeleteYup. I never take those invitations seriously. :D But I never had to go through such experience to know that it was a empty invitation ;)
ReplyDeleteYou probably never lived in an era that there was no way of informing anyone of anything other than by letters and telegrams. So easy to call on the mobile and confirm availability now - it was not always so, believe me :)
DeleteNot to mention what was meaningless and what not in English was also not very clear. This was still the era when movies had dialogues like "Get out. Bahar Jao" just so people knew what get out meant :)
Lol....BTW, I am not so young that I have seen mobiles since my kindergarten days. :D Mobile was invented when I was in 7th grade. :D However, there were phones (BSNL Landlines) for such matters. :D
DeleteWell - by the time you were fixing up your appointments yourself, you has mobiles at hand :) I did not - in fact I got a mobile only a couple of years before I quite working :)
DeleteOh my I have used that phrase umpteen no of times and I really meant to have people coming over to my place. Now after reading this, I realize why most of them never turned up! :D
ReplyDeleteYou mean this series is actually of some use? :)
DeleteLOL! I am sure I never mean that :P Or please call me before coming or come when it's an emergency :P
ReplyDeleteNow I know :)
DeleteI think 'drop in any time' has a few silent words in front of it. I think the whole phrase is 'drop dead before you drop in any time'. They are like the silent K in knowledge.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Quite possibly true :)
DeleteOh Gosh, I have a habit to take people at face value but lately I am realizing that this phrase is often used as a mere formality and most people don't really mean what they say! Seriously, this keeping it vague business is irritating!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it? :)
Delete