Friday, November 8, 2013

A Martian Rage

It is seldom that I get truly enraged. But, now, I am hardly able to contain myself. Whenever I think of those ISRO guys my blood boils and steam shoots out of my nostrils. The callous people just shot off so much money to Mars. Just imagine their utter lack of consideration. Stealing the milk from the mouth of starving babies and shooting it off to outer space is how I see it.

What did you say? Why did I not get enraged when the government handed over flats and humongous sums of money to cricketers for winning games? People like you just cannot think rationally and have to mouth off as though you know everything. You just do not understand the importance of cricket in building the self-belief of the youth of the country. What have these ISRO guys ever done to compare with M.S.Dhoni and Sachin Tendulkar? They just shoot off expensive rockets like my kids do every Diwali.

You ask, 'So, when politicians build huge statues for themselves and their patrons, is that not stealing mothers' milk from sucklings?' Trust you to say that, you unpatriotic so-and-so. How will posterity ever know our heritage if we do not commemorate them? A nation stands tall only when the statues of its leaders stand taller. You nincompoops will never understand the importance of symbols. Anyway, why are we talking of statues when I am discussing rockets?

Now, don't talk about all those scams and all. Those are not planned to happen - at least not officially by the Government. Of course, the people who benefited must have done a lot of planning. These ISRO guys wheedle official sanction of money from the government and keep the poor people starving. Callous brutes is what they are.

WHAT? What technological spin-offs? My neighbor Chintu who works every night to tell Americans how to use their washing machines is applying technology usefully - not blowing it up on a sight-seeing trip to Mars. And if the scientists will just go away elsewhere if ISRO is not doing anything, why not? At least they will be sending dollars here and bringing Scotch when they visit India. More useful than what they are doing now.

You keep confusing the issue. I am talking of rockets and you want to talk of roads getting washed away and money spent on redoing it very frequently. Tell me, are the roads here getting better because that rocket has gone to Mars? Oh! You mean how am I sure that the money saved by not sending the rocket would be used to feed the starving children? Well - at least 13 paise to the rupee would come down to the poor - even Rajiv Gandhi said so.

Scientific achievement building morale in our people? Don't make me laugh. All the rockets you shoot into outer space cannot compare with one World Cup win!

Now there is one person who has enraged me more than the ISRO guys - YOU!

50 comments:

  1. A topic that will strike the right chord with the readers.

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  2. Hard hitting and true! The inane debates I've seen over this non issue over the past few days leaves me with nothing more to say.

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    1. I seem to have veered into sarcasm of late. Must get a grip on myself :)

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    2. Wonderful! I love that sarcasm, pull it out and dust it every time you can, makes life less unpalatable

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    3. Hahaha! Ritu - and I was getting out the dust-sheets to bury it in :)

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  3. So true! we have a long way to go before we understand what our priorities truly should be :|

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  4. Loved the last line a lot. Liked the rest of the post as well, but the last line clinched it.

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    1. I am glad enough to have people find something to like in my posts, Jairam :)

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  5. A powerful 'tamacha' with a clever play of words!

    Sir one doubt - in Nayakan style - 'Neenga nalavara ketavara?'

    A good post :)

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  6. I missed all the rockets this Diwali, so they sent one to Mars for me :P

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    1. See - India has not forgotten you :) Even the Government gets into the act of taking care of your needs :)

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  7. Only when I am thinking, we as a country as not going anywhere....tada! we went to Mars. As all the crackers were burst during Deepavali, no celebrations for this.

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    1. We took away the money from poor people Janaki :) How can we celebrate? :)

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    2. We are always taking away money from the poor Suresh. Sad that we don't prioritize. Sachin's last test, his score or the lack of his score, what color chaddi he wears, who is watching his last match, who gifts him what as a farewell gift has taken importance over the Mangalayan.

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    3. Quite right, Janaki! THAT was the purport of my post too :)

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  8. What made my blood boil was the media discussing it. NDTV and CNN actually spent an hour contemplating wether we needed to spend the money which was less than the amount spent on the budget of Gravity - the movie.

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    1. Well - that is what set off the fizz in this post :)

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  9. I am actually disappointed that they spent only 450 crores on Mangalyaan. Had they obtained access to the 2100 crores put aside for Sardar Patel's statue, imagine, we would have been talking about Shaniyaan travelling 4 times the distance!

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    1. Hahaha! Well - maybe that 450 crore was creative accounting, who knows :) But, if so, it is the only case in Govt where expenditure would be understated :)

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  10. *Tongue in cheek* We should have utilized the money for more scams in the future I say. :p Sad state of affairs! Will we ever grow up? Sigh!

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    1. We show no intention of doing :) A nation of Peter Pans :)

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  11. You freaked me out. I mean you start your post by blaming those ISRO guys and end up blaming your readers? ... and well before I am full enraged, you end the post :)

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    1. Not the readers - the interlocutor who was asking me irrelevant questions :)

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  12. Such a wonderful and thought provoking post, Sir. Loved it.

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  13. Yeah right, 13 paise in a rupee. I have serious doubts about the possibility of even that happening.
    Thank you for meaningfully enraging me in the morning. I have a speech to make and trust me your words are going there.

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    1. Oh! Wow! I am going to become famous this way :)

      Great to see you back Anupam

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  14. Nice post as usual--give it to the 'faltu' naysayers i say.

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  15. Thought-provoking and tongue-in-cheek post on a serious subject! Enjoyed it thoroughly!!

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  16. And someone was comparing a real life space mission's budget to that of a movie. We have to get a grip on ourselves. This madness is reaching some impossible levels.

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  17. Well said, Suresh. I was boiling too, but I could not express it as you have! In fact, I almost did not read your post because I thought it was one more from the whining club (your first line is a trifle misleading), but I should have realised, after all that I have read from you, that sarcasm is your forte.

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    1. I try to keep off sarcasm - but there are times when it gets the better of me :)

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  18. Those are existential questions, Suresh. Discussion isn't over though -waiting for the next installment.

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    1. This is a discussion that can rival any Mega-serial :)

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  19. since no new scams were raising their heads and elections seem a little away, these discussions were probably 'take a break' kind. Wasting time, energy and money to fill the gaps.

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    1. The wonder for me is how these people can simulate so much passion and put so much conviction in their voices when spewing absolute nonsense :)

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