Monday, July 21, 2014

Singular Lessons: Guest post for Sumeetha Manikandan

Every now and then I am surprised by someone, who is kind enough to think that what I write is worth carrying on their blog. Sumeetha Manikandan went one step further. She even thought that I may have a lesson or two to communicate to her readers. She may well be ruing that misconception by now, but now is too late - at least if you are a polite person and, unfortunately for her, she is.

What she and her readers thought of my lessons from bachelorhood I know not. What you think of it you can judge after reading it.


The first time I ever openly said that I may choose to stay single, I was faced with the simple question, “Why?” You may blame me for being unnaturally obtuse, but I saw no reason why I should have a reason. My answer was, “Why should I have any reason to merely continue the same way as I am now? It is for you to explain why you want to change states and marry.” After all, it is the chap who is changing his job who needs to explain why he is doing so and not the guy who is continuing in the same job.

The issue, though, is that most people reacted as though I was a larva refusing to become a butterfly. Though, I am sure that no-one ever polled the butterflies about whether they would have preferred to remain larvae or not – the poor things just never had a choice. In more human terms, it was like I was refusing to pass out of school even after hitting my twenties.


And, if you still want the rest, you can read it here

24 comments:

  1. I'm going to give the link of this post to one of my friends...he is ..obviously , a bachelor and the poor chap always face tormenting comments ... :-D

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  2. Like always a profound read behind all that humour! I've started telling my daughters (although too young now) marry only if and when you want to. We see so many hooked only to stand up to the peer pressure.

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    1. We seem to make almost all choices out of peer pressure..no wonder it leads to blood pressure :)

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  3. Great post Suresh. One of your best ! The road less taken is always viewed with suspicion in this world and the person always classified as 'unable' rather than 'unwilling' as you have rightly put.

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    1. Thanks Ash! That's possibly because people hate anything that upsets settled notions :)

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  4. :( my comment goes missing again!

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    1. :( What has Blogspot got against me? :) Lots of comments getting swallowed. Others have complained of the same too, Indu

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  5. and back!!

    A shepherd in his 20s was resting on a tree.

    A well-learned man came and said, "You are wasting your life".
    Shepherd: Why?
    Man: Look at you. You are an aimless wanderer. You are young, this is the time you should work hard, find your passion and do something great...
    Shepherd: Ohh, then what will happen?
    Man: Build a large home, earn money, get married, have kids, be successful.
    Shepherd: Then what?
    Man: Then you can relax and live happily.
    Shepherd: But...I am doing that even now.

    Same story.
    If you are happy with your life, it doesn't matter. its ur life after all!
    People have this habit of dictating what one should do according to what they think is the right way of life..

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    1. Making a slightly different point, Titli! The chap who is doing all that futile advising is also probably unconscious of what he wants and why he wants what he wants :) The people most certain about the rightness of their attitudes and choices seem to be those who have unthinkingly adopted what others have told them to think, be or do :)

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  6. Society loves to live our lives for us, at least for the duration where they think it is abnormal, later they disappear completely! One of the things that has always irked me about Indian society... loved this post Suresh, simply loved it!
    I agree with Asha, this is one of your best :)

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    1. Hmm! True of Society; true of me as well. There are still some areas where my own attitudes and reactions are an outcome of imbibed wisdom which may be far from true. :) It is the quest to see what attitudes are hardwired by the milieu I live in AND what come from out of my own thinking and rationale that keeps me endlessly occupied :)

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  7. Very correct. Agree with your views, Sureshji.
    "anyone who does not live in tune with those attitudes seems to be necessarily unable to do so and not merely unwilling to do so".
    It takes guts to stand up against the Society and do what we want to, rather than what is the accepted trend... Kudos to you!

    Society hates single people as it cannot tolerate that some people should have all the fun & freedom (while most married ones are denied the same!) That's why married people always try to 'fix up' the singletons & feel happy when more join the gang :)

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    1. Hahaha! Like choosing tame elephants to tame the wild elephants? :)

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  8. It is like the tale of the fox with the tail cut. Most people end up complying with society's norms without thinking for themselves. So when they see someone not complying, they are filled with doubt. In order to feel vindicated, there is need to beat down the person who has fallen out of line and bring him/her back to the fold.

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    1. Rem acu tetigisti, TF! THAT was the point I was making in the post :)

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  9. Where's my comment Suresh Sahib? :)

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    1. Mujhe bhi nahin pata, Amitji! Aajkal zarah zyaada hi complaints aa rahe hain is tarah! pata nahn blogspot ko mujpe kya gussa hai ki mere blog mein comments aane hi nahin de raha

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  10. Never mind. I had written something like...'Wise decision Suesh bhai:) Given another chance I would love to remain a larva...Sheer Bliss;)

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