Faultless critic?

Have you seen this thing with people? If there is some meme about the characteristics of a good friend, everyone rushes to apply it to their friends to find out if they are fit to be called friends. If there is a WhatsApp forward about how to test whether a partner is right for you, they'll happily try it out. (AND come out sad at the end of it. Fie you pessimist, this is an optimistic blog.) In whatever circumstance, you'll always see people put themselves in the seat of the critic.

Tiru, though, seems to think that it is not the way to do things. He says...

Thankutram neekkip pirarkutrank kaangirppin enkutra maagum iraikku - Tirukkural

You cannot fault the leader who first cleanses his faults before scanning for faults in others - Loose Translation

So, this leader who Tiru lauds...if he comes across a meme, he will first apply it to himself. He sees a meme about characteristics of a good friend, he applies it to himself to see whether HE fits description of a good friend; if not, he changes himself to suit the description; THEN he applies it to his friends. IF he comes across a forward that is about testing a partner, he...well, he will first see if HE likes the idea of his partner testing him like that before he rushes to test the partner. I mean, yeah, you want your partner to care for you if you are ill; but to act ill and make your partner do your errands...THAT can be seen as manipulative behavior. Tiru, therefore, wants you to sit on the other side first and only then become the critic.

Why only 'leader'? Well, it applies to all people actually. But the one who seeks to lead needs to be better than the rest. To REACH a position of leadership includes making others willing to accept criticism from you. I mean, a leader sets the path for others to follow which, automatically, includes explicit or implicit criticism of whatever paths that they are already on.  A leader has to change thoughts and behavior. If HE fails to correct his own faults, then he lays himself open to serious criticism. (Oh, yeah, you can ALSO become a leader by loudly espousing what people want to do. But THAT would only mean that you are walking ahead of the crowd, not leading them.)

The problem with this is that you need to become faultless first before you become a critic, else you'll be faulted. Big deal! I cannot live without trolling others. So what if I also get trolled?