Hidden desires?

As long as there are societal rules that seek to ensure a moral behavior that does not vibe with human desires, there will always be some desires that remain hidden. This, alas, is NOT an exploration of such desires. For that you will need to look elsewhere in the web. There are, however, times when it is best to hide even your legitimate desires. That is what we seek to explore here. ('When did I seek to explore it?', you ask? IF you have no interest why are you still here? Just for the pleasure of heckling?)

Tiru says this about hiding desires...

Kaadhala kaadhal ariyaamai uykkirpin yedhila yedhilaar nool - Tirukkural

No foe can harm he who does not publicise the desires that he seeks/enjoys - Loose Translation

This was a toughie to translate really. I mean, it is quite easy to say 'hide your desires' but that is not exactly what Tiru means here. You know of people who are private, right? Ask them if they liked the food and, from their reaction, you cannot make out exactly how they felt. Enigmatic...that's the word. 'Hiding' comes from a position of weakness. It indicates a fear of being found out. The enigmatic guy...you just cannot read his mind. Not even to find out whether he intends hiding his emotions or whether it is just you who are failing at interpreting them.

Tiru feels that it does not pay to be too open about what you desire. I mean, yeah, in a negotiation it is very easy to understand, no? If you are sitting across the table with all your cards face up, you are bound to end up with an agreement with measures up to the barest minimum that you are willing to accept. Knowing your desires strengthens the hands of your opponent for then he knows how far he can push the negotiations.

But, it is as much of a problem in other areas. Almost all of life seems to be made up of small and big negotiations. 'Get an 'A' and I'll buy you this gaming device' and the likes are open negotiations. Subtler ones involve non-explicit reward systems i.e satisfying your desires if your actions meet with the other person's approval without any explicit stated linkage between the two. All of social life works on such interactions whether it is intended as manipulation OR it is a natural reaction to the happiness caused by your actions.

The bottomline is that a knowledge of your desires makes it possible for you to be manipulated. The enigmatic man is better positioned to avoid manipulation and, in fact, will prove the better manipulator. Thus, it actually IS best to be enigmatic with enemies/antagonists.

Should you then apply the same across the board? Depends on whether you want to treat the whole world as antagonistic to you. IF you do, if even those around you never know your desires, how can you ever expect them to voluntarity satisfy them? If you keep your desires to yourself and, yet, seek to get them satisfied, you'll need to manipulate everyone to satisfy your desires, thus becoming the toxin in all your relationships. Tiru, here, is only talking of keeping your desires a secret from enemies/antagonists, not that there should be no openness and trust with those close to you.

In short, being an enigma to antagonists is the way to succeed. Being an enigma to EVERYONE is the way to convert everyone into antagonists. Whether that's the life you want to live is your choice.