The Revenge of Women

I am telling you, guys, there is a conspiracy against us. Wake up soon or you will suffer for the rest of your lives. I know! I know! You guys think it is all a paranoid fantasy. Let me put the evidence in front of you and, then, see if you think whether it is I who am fantasizing or it is you who are living in a fool’s paradise.

Let us take the movies first. Time was when the hero just sat in front of the harmonium and it was the heroine doing all the dancing. A wee bit later, the hero had to strike majestic poses while the heroine danced all around him. A bit of PT exercises became necessary thereafter. Now do you really think that the hero can just flap his arms around and be considered a great dancer? Not on your life!

So, what has that got to do with what I am saying? Look! There are more women in media and, presto, the hero has to have great dancing skills. Coincidence? Don’t be naïve! You think that it is the movies and has nothing to do with you? Well! When was the last time you found some guy wind-milling his arms and jerking his feet around when the mood took him and found the girls drooling all over him? If you need a Hrithik Roshan in reel life, you need a Salsa class in real life. Get that through your thick heads!

Ever wondered why you suddenly have started to go to the gym and found yourself looking anxiously at your belly to see if you can spot any signs of a six-pack? Could you have caught your dad doing it? More likely that he was patting a well-padded belly fondly and the only six-pack that interested him was beer! So what, the generation gap has substituted a fondness for beer with a fondness for treadmills? Nonsense! If you say that you will also say that you actually enjoy the process of waxing your body to remove hair! Guys, get real!

The previous generation had the best of life. A bit of hair oil and shaving cream about summed up their cosmetic needs! Now you can’t do without styling gels for hair and a whole cornucopia of shaving accessories. If all the girls will run after the man with the best deo what would that leave you holding? So, there you go, having to de-odor yourself. Time was when a tanned skin was macho. Today they tell you to use a fairness cream for men instead of one for women when you had not thought of using either.

Guys! Arise! Awake! Women are avenging themselves against us for all the eons when they were put in a position of having to maintain themselves good-looking while we went our way merrily. If you do not take a stand now, you will never be able to make it. By the time you find yourself using ‘Veet for Men’ in the bathroom, with your wife loudly complaining outside about how long men take to get ready for an outing, it will be too late!