Thursday, November 8, 2012

Even Angels will fall



Bath done, toweling done, combing hair an irrelevancy for long! Time to use the deodorant – the new one that I had lovingly bought! I took out the new can, caressed it and sprayed a bit of it under my arms.
There was a whooshing noise – far louder than the can ought to have made – a thump, a mini-explosion and an angel landed in a shower of broken tiles, bricks and plaster.
“Aaaah!” I yelled looking up at the angel-shaped hole in the ceiling. “Look what you have done. Now, who is going to repair that?”
She eyed me with inchoate desire. “Do you have no romance in your soul?”
“Romance? You mean the thing that the child with wings and a bow keeps sowing?” A sudden thought struck me. “Is he around too? Now what has he broken?”
"He only breaks hearts!"
"That's all right, then"
“Look at me”, she said. I looked. She had a languorous look on her beautiful face. When she slowly and lasciviously licked her lips with the tip of her tongue, I gave in.
“Oh! All Right! If that is what you want!”
I stepped towards her and a piece of glass pricked my foot.
“Jeez! Don’t tell me you broke through that Solar heater too?” I whined.
“Come to me!” she pleaded yearningly.
I took a couple of steps towards her and a drip of water hit the nape of my neck.
“My God! You have ruined all the piping. Do you know how difficult it is to get a plumber? What am I going to do with my water supply all gone?”
She stamped her foot in frustration. Apparently things were not quite going the way she had anticipated though I really could not make out what she did expect my reaction to be.
“Can’t you take your mind of all these silly matters and pay attention to me?”
“Listen lady! It may seem silly to you – you probably don’t even have to pee – but let me tell you things can get pretty messy if my toilets do not flush!”
Even Angels can look ugly in a rage. Yet there was still desire smoldering in her eyes. I was surprised. Hitherto, girls had always found me appealing only from a distance going by the fact that they always hastened to put as much distance as possible from me the moment I hove to on the horizon. Here was this angel chasing me as though I was the epitome of her erotic dreams.
“Say, listen? How come you picked on me?”
She looked at the deodorant can in my hands meaningfully.
“Ah! So that is it! Why didn’t you say so before? Here! Take it and go. And, please, use it at a safe distance from my house. One hole in the ceiling is enough!”
She gave a snort of disgust, snatched the can from my hands and whooshed away. Did she say, “More pleasure can be had from the can than from you” as she left? I could not be sure.
I sat in my bed amidst the ruins and buried my face in my hands. That sure was the most expensive can of deodorant that I had ever bought!

66 comments:

  1. haha.... and that was inspired by AXE ADS?? Anyways good read.. :)

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    1. That was AXE was it? I knew it was one of those :)

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  2. I think you do these well. Maybe this may be a novel idea for you. You could do a whole book spoofing around advertisements and put the whole thing into a story.

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    1. Yeah! May be I should try that! Thanks, TF!

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    2. Hahaha! Yeah, I think that will be a good one :-D

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  3. It's been so long I saw Indian Ads, but you made me visualise one for sure :)

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    1. Actually the ad does not have the angel(s) breaking into the house :)

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    2. Haha..but that's ok..you made one do it. :)

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  4. hahaha...what a parody! look closer for more damages... there would be more angels tumbling out..atleast the ad says so!!

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    1. One is enough! :) I won't have a house left with more :)

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  5. Ha Ha Ha! Sue the Axe guys to pay for the damage! :P

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    1. And have the angel sue me for alienation of affection? :)

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  6. I hope the Axe deo - Unilever chaps I guess - read this :) ?

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    1. I hope not - then they will know where the spoof of their ad is coming from when their competitor uses it :)

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  7. The climax was rocking.
    “More pleasure can be had from the can than from you”
    amazing end...

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  8. very funny, you are a practical man to worry about the plumber when an angel wants you to leak err lead you to love :p

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    1. When water drips down your neck, practicality is sort of forced on you :)

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  9. This is the most funny post I ever read... I must Say...Enjoyed reading it a lot.

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  10. I read this on my cellphone last night and desperately wanted to tell you how much I loved this. You can imagine what laughing loud in an empty room when the other roomates are busy doing their own stuff means! They thought I had gone crazy and I surely had gone!

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    1. Thanks Diwa! For once I have made someone laugh out aloud :)

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  11. I wonder if 'fallen' is the most commonly used adjective for angels. It is a perfect little ironical piece that ended a bit too quickly. The trouble is I can't even ask you to ask her to return and devastate your bathroom fittings further!

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    1. Well! Lucifer is supposed to be a 'fallen' angel, isn't he? Thanks, Uma, and yes I wish I could hv stood more damage :)

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  12. Axe ka kamaal? Enjoyed it immensely, Suresh. My first time here and I'm glad I visited.

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    1. Great to have you here, Corinne! Glad you are not disappointed :)

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  13. Maybe you should have asked her to pay you for all the damages. :) Who knows what magic she knew.

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  14. I read this post yesterday on my way to Pune by bus. Should I mention that my co-passengers thought there was something wrong with me, as I kept smiling and chuckling to myself and finally laughing out loud too?

    I thought about Vishwamitra and Durvasa in modern times and using a bit of deodarant and then Menaka, Rambha, Tilitamma or Urvashi drawn from Apsaraland on their own without being bidden to do so by Indra. Needless to say I laughed and chuckled even more.

    Fantastic post, Suresh, and I needed it so much yesterday. I have bookmarked it for those days when I need a chuckle or two. Thank you.

    BTW, how is that ceiling of yours? ;-)

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    1. Great to hear that from you, Sudha! My ceiling..hmmmm...OK I guess - fingers crossed that the angel does not come back the same way to return the empty can :)

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  15. Had a hearty laugh after a long time. Thanks Suresh for that vintage post :) I agree with Amit. you should have asked her to repair the damage and then allowed her to take the can with her. Next time think fast!

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    1. I am hoping that there won't be a next time, Zephyr! :)

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  16. I remember leaving a comment on this one,didn't I? It was very hilarious and I absolutely loved it especially the part about the solar panel also getting broken ha ha

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    1. Thanks Jaish! Your earlier comment must have been swallowed by some Internet Black hole :) I did not get it!

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  17. Hilarious... As I was reading this, I started laughing out.. My mom came near me and asked, "What happened to you?" Then seeing what I was doing, She said, "blogs huh?" and she left..nice one :) And in one of your comments.. "Hope the angel does not come through the hole to return the empty can"... You have a great sense of humor... :)

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    1. Mmm! Which one? Women running away on sight? :)

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  19. Lol lol lol... u a loser :) .. must have grabbed on that angel .. all ambitions and achievements and ambitions on one side and a sweet angel on the other.. anyways somewhere in the middle u turned audience on !! great i really enjoyed!

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  20. Well, yes... holes matter... at least some holes matter.

    Arvind Passey
    www.passey.info

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  21. haha What an enjoyable, truly hilarious post :). I am happy that you are sharing these gems so that people like me who missed them are able to read them. I thoroughly dig your spoofs :).

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    1. That's lovely to hear Rachna! So not everyone thinks I am spamming their timeline :)

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  22. Enjoyed reading...especially the lines...'He only breaks hearts' and the nonchalant response 'It's all right then'..outwit the rest..However,in this materialistic world that seems to be the kind of attitude in most of us...like your posts Suresh..You are simply marvelous!!

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    1. Thanks Manimala! And you picked on those lines that I thought had missed everyone's notice :)

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  23. Good you didn't name them in your post, they would have sued you! You do these humor ones too well! Hats off to you! :) Loved it!

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    1. Thanks Deepa! Well, I prefer not to name them anyway - why give additional publicity? :)

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  24. This is seriously funny, Suresh, when's the next one coming?

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    1. Don't encourage me Mimmy - you may regret it :)

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  25. Did she leave a phone numbah? :)

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  26. LOL ! Looks like you were not the right candidate from the Axe ad then.

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  27. Haha...angels don't have practical sense at all. Why she couldn't ring the door bell? I am sure the fragrance of the deodorant would have gone far beyond the front door! Good that you kept your practical hat on :D

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    1. Oh! I am a very practical man :) Don't have time for these hare-brained angels :)

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  28. Is the man really a feeling less fellow?

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