Monday, July 7, 2014

What makes me tick

(My 300th post. Why is it that when you hit a milestone, you suddenly feel that you have to share some wisdom? Though, my wisdom is a sort of oxymoron)

"What makes me tick?" is a question that most of us do not really find an answer for, possibly because we are too busy trying to find out what makes other people tick. When I tried for myself, I find that I do have a few answers but whether they are correct - and, more to the point, lasting - remains to be seen.

Let me first get one thing out of the way. Why I am single is a question easily answered and has no deep insights embedded in it. The most common answer I have heard from other singles is that, "The ones I wanted would not have me and the ones who would have me I did not want". Not true of me. I would have wanted any woman who would have me and, maybe, I would have remained single anyway since, possibly, none of them would have me. I never put it to the test, though, since I never wanted anyone badly enough to have to work for it - and, not being the son of a rich man, I would have had to work for it.

I tried for the answers to my attitude to money, to being a productive member of Society and to my purpose in life. Deep questions, people say, but since I am not a deep person myself, I dredged in pretty shallow waters.

Money

Back in school, we kids used to cluster around the local sweet-shop to buy in the toffees of our choice. We all ended up buying what we liked eating and we would have found the idea ridiculous that we ought to like something else, either because more people were buying it or because it was more expensive. The problem with me is that I never grew up and, thus, I still am immature enough to find the idea ridiculous that I ought to like the food at a 5-Star hotel and not the local eatery. Effectively, therefore, my need for money was seriously lesser than most.

At school, again, there was this great admiration for winning a cup and in one of the competitions. THAT was what we used to think of as success. In a choice of the following options for having a 100m race cup, only the first was considered Success.

1. Win a cup by winning the race.
2. Bet on the results of the Long Jump with the winner of the 100m race and win the cup by winning the bet.
3. Find a couple of lost cups on the road and pick them up.
4. Inherit six cups from your dad.

When I grew up, I found that all of them were considered SUCCESS and the more cups you had, the bigger a success you were, regardless of HOW you ended up with the cups. Of course, you substituted 'money' instead of 'cups' and 'work' instead of 'race'.

Lacking in maturity as I was, I could see that I needed money for my needs but was unable to correlate money with success BECAUSE I was unable to see all these options as being equal measures of success.

Productivity

Being a member of society and using the products that someone in Society was producing, it seemed to me that I should also be producing something of value to Society. My stint at work as well as my observations killed this notion also. Given that the money one earns ought to be a measure of how valuable Society thinks your contributions are, I came to the following conclusions:

1. Growing wheat is less valuable than betting on future prices of wheat.
2. Teaching children is less valuable than selling cosmetics.
3. Teaching students at IIT is less valuable than teaching people how to get into IIT.
4. Producing goods and services is less valuable than trading in stocks of companies that produced goods and services.
...
...
...

The problem for me was that Society valued the least what I valued the most and vice versa. In short, I FELT unproductive when Society thought me productive and Society felt I was unproductive when I thought myself productive. The net result was that I decided to enjoy myself without regard to 'productivity'. Who knows, one fine day, Society may decide to pay me humongous sums for lying around in bed and, then, the world would laud me for my immense productivity.

Purpose:

A lot has been said of the quest for a purpose to life. I am one of those gifted with a complete disregard to having a reason to live. 'I exist, therefore I deserve to exist' sums up my philosophy. Having no pressing desire to DO something with life AND no angst about the purposelessness of life, I am quite content to please myself. AND, since I have escaped all the thickets of thinking that pleasing myself inter alia involved pleasing others, there is little problem involved.

In short, the only person who you can be sure of pleasing is your own self. Provided you really know what pleases you!

42 comments:

  1. Congrats, CS on 300 posts. That was an insightful post. I think I agree with you on many of the things you have mentioned and not so much on few of them.. But I guess that is how it has to be or I would be a clone of you.

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    1. Thanks, TF! Yeah, it would be a boring world if we all agreed on everything :)

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  2. Congrats Suresh on the triple century! Have loved reading your blogposts and have enjoyed the humour, insights and meaning they are filled with! keep rocking!

    Happened to be reading Tuesdays with Morrie, and there's this inspirational passage in the book that says, "so many people lead a meaningless life, they walk half asleep, doing things that THEY think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things.The way you get meaning into your life is by devoting yourself to something that gives you purpose and meaning."

    So there! you ARE doing things that give you purpose and meaning...this writing, this life that you have charted for yourself....you aren't chasing the wrong things, these are things that don't matter.....what could bring more happiness? It takes courage to live life on your own terms, not to succumb to societal pressures and yet find happiness in what you do!

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    1. I do believe that, Titli! Only, it actually took no courage at all :) Courage is necessary when the consequences of not doing the traditional thing make you afraid and you have to overcome that fear. Me - I never had enough imagination to fear what other people would/could say about me :)

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  3. Congrats Suresh Sir on 300 posts :)

    - I see my future-self in your current self :) and a song dedicated to you :)

    Super star yaaru nu kaetta chinna kuzhandaiyum sollum :)

    You are our blogging super star :)

    Regards,
    Mahesh

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    1. Not at all, Mahesh! It makes me happy to know that I have not been totally unnoticed. That's enough for me :)

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  4. Congrats on reaching this milestone.
    I simply loved your analogy about buying toffees of your choice--it is great that you continue to do so.
    I guess that is what makes you so happy and cheerful.

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    1. Never saw the sense in allowing other people to dictate what I should like, Indu!

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  5. Wow 300 posts eh ! That's huge. I think my teeth will probably be falling out by the time I hit that number, that is if I can still see :) Your money and cups analogy was really good.And as far as productivity goes, it always boils down to productive by whose standards.
    Being purposeless as you describe it, is not easy and that takes a lot of effort. Its going against the tide when all the others are driving themselves up the wall trying to think up purposes that justifies their existence.

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    1. Now, it seems that if you get paid more you are more productive. AND the highest pay seems to go to those who produce the least by my standards :)

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  6. Wonderful sir.. being a recent reader, I haven't read anything so personal from you. Congrats on being an avid blogger! That paragraph on Productivity was my favorite. But you are proud of what you are, and it comes through :)

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    1. That I always was since after my teens..but then I always took pride in what I DID and not in what I got out of it :)

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    2. Nice motto.. some inspiration you are!

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  7. As always Suresh, I am captivated by your wisdom. I nearly used the word 'impressed' there but was rescued in the mick of time by the more accurate word 'captivated' popping up in my head instead. 'Impressed' has the flavor of unexpectedness. As if I didn't think you could be so wise and you amazed me with it. But I expect you to be wise... even when you are being (ostensibly) funny.

    While your entire post is noteworthy, I particularly appreciate the 'Productivity' section. Growing wheat is indeed less lucrative than betting on it. With that, you have summed it all up. It is a frustratingly sad truth. That's like saying the the mother who gives birth to a child is less than the thug who doesn't kill it. Am I making sense?

    This is worthy of being a landmark post Suresh. Congratulations on the 300th! Here's wishing you many times more than that... :)

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    1. Trust you to get to the pith of the post, Dagny! And am glad that the milestone post did not disappoint

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  8. congrats sir on the 300th.. loved the analogy between money and cups ..

    I do hope i get humungous amout of money too for just lieing down.. but the problem is I work for long hours every day and do a lot of overtime yet I dont get all that money that i shud :(

    regarding purpose etc well I beleive one shud work hard and do it all with true heart.. but i have realised over time that it doesnot work always ... especially in the blogging world . people are mean and show different colors :)

    funnyily enough i found a lot of two faced people when i came after hibernation .. I am going on a tangent here so i shud shut up :)


    Bikram

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    1. That, Bikram, is the central theme of my existence. Do what you do because YOU want to do it and do whatever you do with complete dedication. Expectations from people doom you, more often than not, to disappointment.

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  9. Lovely insightful post, a lot of nuggets of wisdom hidden in the thinly veiled self deprecatory tone of yours.

    Congrats on the triple century. Here's wishing for many more such milestones.

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    1. The veil of humor IS wearing thin of late in my posts, Jairam :) Glad that what is to be seen behind is of appeal. Thanks

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  10. Congrats on your triple century... :-)

    Coming to cups..whenever I feel jealous of others..I buy a set 6..they even offer me 6 saucers ..free !

    Jokes apart.. "the only person who you can be sure of pleasing is your own self " true but the thing is , as you've mentioned it too..' what makes us happy ?" and how long will that be successful to keep us happy ? our preferences change ..so do we.. :-)

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    1. Hmm! I have found that the pleasures that we think will make us happy keep changing but the things that we take pleasure in DOING are less prone to change - unless, of course, we only thought we liked doing it because of what we could get out of it :)

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  11. Philosophy with a touch of Suresh. And your last line "the only person who you can be sure of pleasing is your own self. Provided you really know what pleases you!" summarizes your post and how life is meant to be lived, perfectly.

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    1. AND the biggest dilemma of life, Purba - knowing what pleases you and being certain that it will not change :)

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  12. 300! wow, i doubt I can ever get there.... loved this post, had way too many practical insights in it not to like it :)
    Esp. loved the part on productivity, each and every line there reeked of the truth.. unfortunately that is how it is measured. After reading this post I envy you, you have managed to rise above a lot and and to live life to the fullest as they say. Like Purba says, the last line sums it perfectly, the day we know what pleases us, we would have lived that day

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    1. Ah! I was too unimaginative to worry about what others thought. :) Found it way too difficult to even figure out what I thought of anything :) Made it sort of easy for me :)

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  13. Congratulations for the 300th! That's quite a feat. And you have certainly marked this achievement with a perfect post that makes us think of what a real achievement is. Wishing you many more of such accomplishments and hoping you will continue to share your nuggets of wisdom with your readers!

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    1. Thanks Beloo! Each of us brings some dross and some gems to the table. An accumulation of wisdom comes from separating and putting together the gems.

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  14. Congrats Suresh! 300 - Wow! Quite an achievement. But then again, one would be stupid not to expect a prolific writer (and editor - ref to your prev post) churn out quality posts - one after another. And this line - 'I exist, therefore I deserve to exist" - is a gem. Congratulations once again, and a wisdom-filled post to mark the occasion too :)

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  15. Suresh, your milestone made me mull over the truths that we all relegate for posterity. If we all remembered these in the beginning of the journey, we would meet such happy and content individuals. Loved the analogies and congratulations, not just for the milestone but also for living the way you wish to.

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    1. That's one of the funny things with humanity, Ilakshee! We all want happiness, now and all the time, but postpone all that will make us happy for the future :)

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  16. Congrats Sureshji! 300th post is special :)
    Love all the lessons in here. So true!

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  17. Congrats on the 300th post. People struggle knowing neither how to be contented nor what they are running after. You are blessed my friend :)

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    1. True - it is a blessing to know what you want, Jaish

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  18. 'I exist, therefore I deserve to exist' - loved this line ..

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    1. That's been a very useful philosophy for me :)

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    2. I second it. It is a lovely line, with layers and layers of meaning. And I thought you didn't deal with layers, Suresh!

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    3. Ah! When someone is really an author, Ritesh, and when he has something to write, things are very seldom unidimensional in his writing, are they? When I say I do not deal in layers, what I mean is that I do not consciously try to craft layers in my writing :) Not that there shall be no layers at all in whatever I write. If you read ADEDFW, you'd have seen that THAT is a multi-layered book - humor, marketing management, consumerism, social stratification...

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  19. This resonates with my idea of life. Yes, one need not have a purpose in life. Enjoying your stay in this world is what matters the most. An excellent post for the 300 milestone.

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