Sunday, May 6, 2012

ONCE AGAIN


This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 27; the 27th Edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The topic for this month is 'Once Again'.
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 Once again I have lost my girl-friend. I lament about this to my friend and he comes out with an Oscar Wilde quote, “Losing one may be termed a misfortune. Losing two can only be sheer carelessness” and laughs immoderately. Such is the sympathy of friends!
But, really! I cannot see why this happens to me. Thanks to an industrious dad, I go around in up-market cars, wear designer apparel and am a generous party animal. I look good enough to eat, as my current ex-girlfriend remarked very frequently when she was still my girlfriend. My expressive eyes have been the talk of all the girls. Though they seem to have expressed very little to men, the way they pop out when they see a beautiful girl must have been very eloquent to the women.
Above all, I have a great sense of humor. In fact, both my former girlfriends were drawn to me by my sense of humor …… or so they said.
* * * * *
“I really love your sense of humor”, said Nita looking meltingly at me. I melt very easily when it comes to beautiful women. Nita may not be the sort that draws wolf-whistles from street Romeos but if you get up close to her and look into her eyes, you would find it difficult to think of anything else.
From then on, Nita and I were practically inseparable. Friends used to joke that someone had stuck us together with Fevi-kwick and, when I say I actually regretted that such a thing had not happened, you can realize how far gone I was.
One day, Nita came over in a sari apparently gifted by an aunt, who seemed to have quaint ideas not only about the sort of apparel but also about the colors preferred by young women. The poor girl also had to parade in it in order to satisfy her aunt about how much she liked the gift.
“This sari makes me look real ugly”, lamented Nita. With a sort of dirty gray sprayed irregularly over a psychedelic green, that sari would have made Helen of Troy look like a gargoyle.
I could not resist it. I looked her up and down and said, “You look no different”.
All the friends erupted in laughter but, somehow, it seemed that Nita did not find the joke funny. Yeah! Well! Sometimes people are slow on the uptake and find it embarrassing to laugh when they do get it half an hour later.
Two days down the line, Nita came to me and said, ‘You don’t love me any more, do you?”
I was shocked. “Of course I love you.”
“No! Is it Sheetal? Or, maybe Mala?”
“No darling! There is nobody but you”
I proceeded to express my love for her with my lips – not by speaking of course! She seemed to shed her doubts and things reverted to the way it was before - except that, every now and then, she used to cast speculative glances at me particularly when Sheetal was around.
Nita was upset that day. Our entire group was congregated in the college canteen when she burst out, “This photographer is really an idiot. How can I give such awful photos to prospective employers?”
“Ah! Nita! The camera can only capture what is there” I said in my usual jovial tones. Once again, Nita did not seem to get the joke. For a person who loved me for my sense of humor she was pretty slow on the uptake.
For the next five days I did not see Nita. On the sixth day Anil and she were walking towards me and I called her. She came over to me and said, “Harish! You know you don’t love me. I don’t want to hang around your neck when you want to be rid of me. So let us just be good friends.” From the tone of her voice it seemed like she thought that the only good friend was a dead friend!
“But..but…” I stammered.
“It is OK, Harish! No need to make excuses for breaking off from me. I understand”, she said and walked away to join Anil in what looked like the start of another Fevi-kwick relationship.
Can someone tell me whether I dumped her or she dumped me? It seemed as though I had broken up with her but, for the life of me, I cannot remember having done so.
That was my first girlfriend.
* * * * *
“Your sense of humor is fabulous”
There must be something to feminine intuition. Sheetal meant nothing to me when Nita expressed her suspicions but, apparently, I meant something to her. If Nita’s was the sort of beauty that grew on you, Sheetal’s beauty thrust itself into your notice, if you know what I mean. This, then, was the girl who was saying that my sense of humor was of the stuff of fables!
Sheetal as a girlfriend was far different from Nita. With Nita we were stuck to each other but she preferred time apart from the crowd. Sheetal, however, could not do without a crowd of satellites and, thus, we were always at the center of a boisterous mob.
One day, Sheetal came over with her curly hair straightened out.
“How do I look?” she asked us in general.
“Of course your looks have improved. Any change could only have been an improvement”, I joked. Guffaws of laughter erupted from our crowd. Sheetal, strangely, had a frown on her face. I don’t know what it is with girls. They cannot understand the simplest jokes!
That very evening, Sheetal came over and said, “Harish! It is all off between us. You have no empathy, no consideration for my feelings. I don’t think I want to spend time with someone whose love is so shallow” and stormed away leaving me with the eternal question of the male species - “But what did I do?” - still hovering on my lips.
So, once again I had lost my girlfriend!
* * * * *
Can someone please tell me what is going wrong?
Because, you see….
Once again, a girl is absolutely in love with my sense of humor. I don’t want to lose her too!
* * * * *

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

48 comments:

  1. Ever heard of 'Once bitten ,twice Shy' .Poor Harish.

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    1. lol!!! so true...but poor Harish is immune to bites:)

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    2. So you people stoutly refuse to help Harish..how stone-hearted of you:)

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  2. I have just one question--where in India do you find this many women who love and kiss and dump and have one more fevi-Kwik relationship? I am in search of Harish's lovers...:):):)

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    1. In the same India we live in, Bhavana! As, indeed, you can find men who do it:)

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    2. Btw, Bhavana, Are you blaming the women?:)

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    3. @Bhavana come to our school. these are the only thing you can find now ;) :P

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  3. Ha! Ha! Poor Harish!! It is going to happen to him ONCE AGAIN!!

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  4. ha ha ha talk of others to them with sense of humor but about their own selves to them talk only sense sans the humor...:D ha ha

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  5. Hi Jaish! At least someone to help the poor benighted chap:)

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  6. Hhhhhahaha!! Well written Suresh. Nice choice of word. I hope for the 3rd one to make a fevi-kwik bond (with the protagonist, of course!)

    Nice Oscar Wilde quote btw! thanks for the read..

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    1. Thanks Kappu! And harish will thank you for your good wishes:)

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  7. Interesting and funny post. Enjoyed reading.

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  8. Dear Harish,

    You are too funny to be true! :P

    Rgrds. :)

    Good one Suresh sir.

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  9. It was fun to read something FUN for a change.
    Mockery and humour sense are not the same thing. Too many people just dono the difference. This is what i would tell Harish. :)

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    1. Thanks Nasia! Actually, the problem is that Harish is convinced that his girls are too beautiful to take his jokes seriously whereas the girls see it as mockery:) Men are obtuse that way you know:)

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  10. omg CS Ji!!! this was so funny! i literally cracked up :P
    and i for one, can see why Harish is getting dumped. girls dont know how to take jokes on THEMSELVES. especially when it comes to looks. or thats what i think!

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    1. At Last, Kirti! I thought I was a total dud at communicating what I wanted to communicate:) THAT was the point I was driving at - that girls do not take jokes on their looks lightly, particularly from their BFs and particularly in public. They tend to interpret such jokes from their BFs as either lack of love for them or lack of consideration for their feelings. Managed to communicate it to at least one person. Thanks:)

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    2. well what you wanted to say was pretty evident to me :) dont worry :P
      and yes, i agree, being made fun of in public especially is a big no-no.
      and of course it is interpreted the other way. thats the way most girl's minds work :P

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    3. Yes.i agree with Kriti.....:) no girl would like jokes on her specially in public;even though it is just in joke....:P
      but anyways,nice post.
      Good Sense of Humor...lol.....:D

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    4. Which means you agree with me:) That was the point to the story.

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  11. this is the most hilarious post i have read in last couple of weeks or may be in last one month. saw your post yesterday but couldn't read it for various reasons. apologies for that.

    and i do laugh shamelessly after half an hour when i understand a joke :D

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    1. Hi Debajyothi! Great to know you enjoyed it...getting that 'most hilarious post' tag from you is like getting an award:)

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  12. Ha ha..funny.but the point to be noted that your Once Again stories will be always like sequels... Dhoom1,Dhoom2.....etal.But jokes apart the post is jokingly humorous CS ji...

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    1. Yeah! Well! As far as Harish goes it is going to be like that:)

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  13. If Love is not madness, it is not Love. So don't worry Your protagonist will one day find sense in the madness that engulfs him!

    Hilarious post by the way, I am sure I can be touching a raw nerve by simply commenting on the humor in it but I truly hope the writer doesn't share the protagonist's dilemma!

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    1. The writer is a bachelor all right but by choice and not because his sense of humour has driven all eligible women into other people's arms:):) Anyway, in my time, arranged marriages were more the norm and a man talking to a woman he was not related to was committing a heinous sin:):)

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    2. Gotcha! Well I am glad the writer doesn't. I really liked the post. I did not want to offend or touch upon any sensitive matter in case it was the writers humorous take on something else (the reason for the caution in my comment) :)

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    3. Appreciate your sensitivity..and thanks for liking the post.

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  14. HAHAHHA Very well written post!!! Never knew you have such a good sense of humor

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  15. Seems like an improbable post. I'd tend to agree with Bhavna who was sceptical about finding people like the characters in the post. Even I have yet to come across such characters... they exist in minds , yes, but not in the real world of India.

    Loved the easy flow of the post, the dialogue didn't appear to be painfully pinned in unexpected spots, and I also liked the way the reader is left to interpret a lot of things.

    Arvind Passey
    www.passey.info

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    1. The Youth seems to disagree with your and Bhavna's objection, Arvind - as you can see from Kirti's comments and she has just started college :)

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  16. A guy with such excellent resources usually turns a bit too loud nd careless...

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  17. :D
    All I can say, using my astute powers of deduction, is that Nita was a nitwit and Sheetal had not a bone of patience in her to develop her own sense of humour that matched Harish's!
    You labour on, Harish! 13 is a lucky number for most. :)

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    1. Oh! Heck! you mean another 10 more Once Agains before he gets a girl to stick with him? :)

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  18. These girls were idiots,and I have seen many of this type who can't take a joke or are too dense to get it. Oh, there are so many of them around. It is actually Harish's gain. Imagine being stuck with someone like this for a long period. A fun read :).

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    1. Thanks Rachna! So there is still hope for Harish! :)

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  19. Getting rid of girlfriends in this country is an art! Once you profess love, you are bulldozed or trussed and tied and deposited in front of the havan kund for the saat pheras. Your Harish is a genius. He knows how to get out while the going is good.

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    1. The only problem is that he does not know when he is well off :)

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  20. All I can say is condensed in this video Suresh.

    http://vimeo.com/66753575

    Dagny

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    1. Time leke dekhna padega - guest at home :)

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  21. Best wishes to Harish! There must be a girl who'll love his sense of humour for life :)

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